My New Diet

Diet Planner: A fast talker. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Vegan: An alien from the planet Lettuce - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Mine is the least fat diet in the world. - Pierre Dukan

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands. - Unknown

Food is an important part of a balanced diet. - Fran Lebowitz

Diets, like clothes, should be tailored to you. - Joan Rivers

I've probably tried every fad diet in the world. - Jenna Ushkowitz

A balanced diet is a Cracker Jack cookie in each hand. - Joe-kster

I don't trust any diet that doesn't allow sugar. - Bethenny Frankel

The cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good, spit it out. - Unknown

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight. - Rita Rudner

The first couple of days on the detox diet aren't pleasant. - Carol Vorderman

I don't diet, I just don't eat as much as I'd like to. - Linda Evangelista

Vegetarian: an old Indian word for "doesn't hunt well." - Paul Harvey

Irony: 1. Being witty at all costs; 2. A vegetarian catching swine flu. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A vegetarian is a person who won't eat anything that can have children. - David Brenner

No disease that can be treated by diet should be treated by any other means. - Maimonides

The majority of my diet is made up of the foods that my kid didn't finish. - Carrie Underwood

I am on a ketos diet so I avoid sugar, dairy products, wheat, grain or pulses. - Puneet Issar

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

Every single diet I ever fell off of was because of potatoes and gravy of some sort. - Dolly Parton

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

Organic chemistry has become a vast rubbish heap of puzzling and bewildering compounds. - J Norman Collie

Juicing isn't about binging and cleansing; I try to incorporate it into a balanced diet. - Eddie Huang

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. - Jackie Gleason

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. - Mae West

I grew up on a steady diet of science fiction, especially apocalyptic and postapocalyptic fiction. - Justin Cronin

If I go on a diet and work out, I'm always in a bad mood. I'd rather be a little heavier but nice. - Salma Hayek

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

Dieting is not a sprint, it's a marathon. If you celebrate the small victories, you will eventually win the war. - Ian K Smith

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned now to cook. - Andy Rooney

If you maintain a healthy diet, or at least are smart about your food choices, you'll still see the pounds come off. - Misty May-Treanor

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on. - Jean Kerr

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

In Japan, animation is a big part of your media diet. I moved out to Los Angeles at 9, and when I got homesick, I would watch anime. - Hiro Murai

I'm off the diet, but not the treadmill. I speak as someone who's attempted to lose weight and get fit thrice before in my life. - Ronnie Screwvala

New Pasta Diet: Just walk pasta bakery without stopping. Walk pasta candy store without stopping. Walk pasta ice cream shop without stopping. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Our food pyramid, the kind of diet that is constantly promoted, is completely warped. It's not based around anything to do with healing your body. - Jessica Origliasso