#1 humor site on the 'net

New Years Cat

Not another New Years' Resolution!

New Years Cat thanks to Jim Serritella

Under the weather or under the mistletoe?

QuotaBills
A meowing cat catches no mice. - Yiddish proverb

Don't judge a cat by its coat. - Magdalena VandenBerg

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

A cat bitten once by a snake dreads even rope. - Arab Proverb

The New Year begins in a snow-storm of white vows. - George William Curtis

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life. - Faith Resnick

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

I think in terms of the day's resolutions, not the year's. - Henry Moore

A lame cat is better than a swift horse when rats infest the palace. - Chinese Proverb

He who breaks a resolution is a weakling. He who makes one is a fool. - F.M. Knowles

And now we welcome the new year. Full of things that have never been. - Rainer M. Rilke

There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats. - Albert Schweitzer

Never tell your resolution beforehand, or it's twice as onerous a duty. - John Selden

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function. - Garrison Keillor

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way. - Mark Twain

The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives. - Mark Twain

When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,
May luck be yours on Halloween. - Unknown

A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other. - Unknown

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back. - Will Rogers

If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat. - Mark Twain

Sleep is like my cat. I can call him by his name, but he still won't come to me. - Shane Koyczan

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. - Winston Churchill

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it. - Doug Larson

I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior. - Hippolyte Taine

Always the cat remains a little beyond the limits we try to set for him in our blind folly. - Andre Norton

A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. - Charles Darwin

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. - Mark Twain

When witches go riding and black cats are seen,
The moon laughs and whispers, 'tis near Halloween. - Unknown

Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to. - Bill Vaughan

I will be deafer than the blue-eyed cat, And thrice as blind as any noonday owl, To holy virgins in their ecstasies. - Alfred Tennyson

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

New Year's Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time. - James Agate

If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. - Alfred N Whitehead

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

When I hear of an 'equity' in a case like this, I am reminded of a blind man in a dark room - looking for a black cat - which isn't there. - Charles Bowen


Handicap Porch

Tip Generator

Waiting For Windows To Boot

So Close

Pork Chops

Brazilian Covid

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Nothing Wrong Picture

Cook Ring

Zipperhead

Politicians Be Like

Bridge Uplift

Beach Drag

Do Not Feed The Bears

Does Your Hedgehog Bite?

A Woman's Mind

Spaghetti Starter

Sidewalk Pickpocket

Wing Wedding

Relaxing Surgery

Fish Injuries

Nuclear Waste Truck

Rock Watcher

Frog Waltz