Ninja Raccoon

Age to women is like Kryptonite to Superman. - Kathy Lette

I learned how to change a cloth diaper on a raccoon. - Nikki Reed

I love super crispy, almost burned, snapping-crispy bacon. - David Lynch

I'm super laid back. I'm from Texas. I love my family. - Selena Gomez

I know why superman left krypton. Earth was the only place where he could get steroids. - Milton Berle

I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman! - Homer Simpson

Hope smiles from the threshold of the year to come, whispering, "It will be happier..." - Alfred Tennyson

When you're young, you think your Dad is Superman. Then you grow up, and you realize he's just a regular guy who wears a cape. - Dave Attell