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Nothing In The Fridge

A canine's survival guide to stocking up for hard times

Nothing In The Fridge thanks to Howard Chapman

Time for the dog to go on a diet

QuotaBills
Love me, love my dog. - English Proverb

France is a dog-hole. - William Shakespeare

Let sleeping dogs lie. - French Proverb

Let fightin' dogs lie - Archie Bunker

Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

Tacos are the food of genius. - Heather Brewer

Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker

Fine words do not produce food. - Nigeria Proverb

Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

Food tastes better when you wear it. - Erin Dealey

The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - American Saying

You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffet

He who lies down with dogs, rises with fleas. - English Proverb

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

Queuing tips for fans: wrap up and bring food! - Niall Horan

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde

Dogs got personality. Personality goes a long way. - Quentin Tarantino

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

The food in Yugoslavia is fine if you like pork tartare. - Ed Begley Jr.

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields

Before eating, always take a little time to thank the food. - Arapaho Proverb

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey

If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

I have the body of an eighteen-year-old. I keep it in the fridge. - Spike Milligan

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller

If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge? - Unknown

Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. - Michael Levine

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Bernard Williams

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley

The maxim that the "best is the cheapest" does not apply to food. - W.O. Atwater

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen

Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers

An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed. - A.J. Liebling

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

If more of us cared about food and home above gold, this world would be a merrier place. - Bilbo Baggins

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again. - George Miller

I like spaghetti bolognese, I like baked beans on toast. I hate French food. I hate fancy food. - Simon Cowell

I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies. - Charlie Sheen

The automatic stabilizer is unemployment insurance, food stamps, additional coverage of Medicaid. - Franklin Raines

Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott

Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches awaiting Easter. - Fran Lebowitz

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs. - Christopher Hampton

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away. - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

A burrito is a delicious food item that breaks down all social barriers and leads to temporary spiritual enlightenment. - Lisi Harrison

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner

The disparity between a restaurant's price and food quality rises in direct proportion to the size of the pepper mill. - Bryan Miller

I like simple food, seasoned with just salt, pepper, oil and vinegar. Complicated food and complicated lives are never good. - Sirio Maccioni

I like Pirate's Booty. Prunes and olives, too. I love hummus. I can eat that until I die. I tend to eat mostly organic food. - Queen Latifah

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash


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