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On Guard!

Clash of the kitchen knives

On Guard! thanks to Keith Blake

Trojan armor saves the day

QuotaBills
These are cathedrals of shopping. - Emile Zola

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. - Douglas Adams

A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. - Rabindranath Tagore

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: eat out. - Phyllis Diller

Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. - Oscar Wilde

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker

Losing an illusion makes you wiser than finding a truth. - Ludwig Borne

If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. - Harry S Truman

What a strange illusion to suppose that beauty is goodness. - Leo Tolstoy

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

Only the knife knows what goes on in the heart of a pumpkin. - Simone Schwarz-Bart

Some of my best friends are illusions. Been sustaining me for years. - Sheila Ballantyne

I always had a fantasy of being a chef, because I like kitchen life. - Geoffrey Rush

Our separation from each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. - Albert Einstein

A man loses his illusions first, his teeth second, and his follies last. - Helen Rowland

Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly. - Morticia Addams

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum. - Steven Wright

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw

Like the cosmetics industry, the securities business is engaged in selling illusion. - Paul Samuelson

I can see you in the kitchen bending over a hot stove, and I can't see the stove. - Groucho Marx

When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure. - Scott Adams

Ladies and gentlemen are permitted to have friends in the kennel but not in the kitchen. - George Bernard Shaw

Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head. - Ambrose Bierce

We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality. - Irish Murdoch

Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown

A gentleman should never leave the house without a sharp knife, a good watch, and great hat. - Unknown

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield

The illusion that the times that were are better than those that are has probably pervaded all ages. - Horace Greeley

I could juggle anything in my day: balls, cigar boxes, knives. But I could never juggle my income tax. - WC Fields

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. - Woody Allen

Dreams or illusions, call them what you will, they lift us from the commonplace of life to better things. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be attained only by someone who is detached. - Simone Weil

You don't learn to hold your own in the world by standing on guard, but by attacking and getting well hammered yourself. - George Bernard Shaw

Surgeons must be very careful
When they take the knife!
Underneath their fine incisions
Stirs the Culprit - Life! - Emily Dickinson

Whenever I have a spare second, I'm in the kitchen whipping up a batch of cookies. I make a mean batch of chocolate chippers. - Karlie Kloss

We would rather be ruined than changed. We would rather die in our dread than climb the cross of the moment and let our illusions die. - W H Auden

Love easily confuses us because it is always in flux between illusion and substance, between memory and wish, between contentment and need. - Tom Robbins


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