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On Guard!

Clash of the kitchen knives

On Guard! thanks to Keith Blake

Trojan armor saves the day

QuotaBills
Shopping is my cardio. - Carrie Bradshaw

Keep a clean kitchen - dine out. - Unknown

Illusion is the first of all pleasures. - Oscar Wilde

Eyebrows: What I do when I go shopping. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. - Douglas Adams

Inflation: everyone's illusion of wealth - Unknown

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: eat out. - Phyllis Diller

Noise creates illusions. Silence brings truth. - Maxime Lagace

Don't dig your grave with a knife and fork. - English Proverb

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker

He who would eat in Spain must bring his kitchen along. - German saying

Losing an illusion makes you wiser than finding a truth. - Ludwig Borne

If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. - Harry S Truman

What a strange illusion to suppose that beauty is goodness. - Leo Tolstoy

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. - Albert Einstein

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno

If we choose, we can live in a world of comforting illusion. - Noam Chomsky

The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley

Some of my best friends are illusions. Been sustaining me for years. - Sheila Ballantyne

A man loses his illusions first, his teeth second, and his follies last. - Helen Rowland

Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly. - Morticia Addams

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

There's something fundamentally wrong with bringing a knife to a gun fight. - Sean Connery

I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum. - Steven Wright

I can see you in the kitchen bending over a hot stove, and I can't see the stove. - Groucho Marx

When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance - it is the illusion of knowledge. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Wishes and fears are illusions, Dil Bahadur, not realities. You must practice detachment. - Isabel Allende

We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality. - Irish Murdoch

Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown

I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives. - Billy Connolly

The illusion that the times that were are better than those that are has probably pervaded all ages. - Horace Greeley

I could juggle anything in my day: balls, cigar boxes, knives. But I could never juggle my income tax. - WC Fields

Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist but you have ceased to live. - Mark Twain

Dreams or illusions, call them what you will, they lift us from the commonplace of life to better things. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

No matter what the recipe, any baker can do wonders in the kitchen with some good ingredients and an upbeat attitude. - Buddy Valastro

Surgeons must be very careful
When they take the knife!
Underneath their fine incisions
Stirs the Culprit - Life! - Emily Dickinson

Whenever I have a spare second, I'm in the kitchen whipping up a batch of cookies. I make a mean batch of chocolate chippers. - Karlie Kloss

We would rather be ruined than changed. We would rather die in our dread than climb the cross of the moment and let our illusions die. - W H Auden

Fall: The season when your wife buys new winter clothes so she will have something to wear when she goes out shopping for spring outfits - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


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