#1 humor site on the 'net

Papa Burger

Father and son meat together

Papa Burger thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
A father is a banker provided by nature. - French Proverb

One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters. - George Herbert

The older I get, the smarter my father seems to get. - Tim Russert

Out for lunch. If not back by five, out for dinner also. - Unknown

The kind man feeds his cat before sitting down to dinner. - Hebrew Proverb

My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic. - Spike Milligan

The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law. - Yiddish Proverb

We're eating dinner soon. Don't fill up on homework. - Alex Baze

We take the hamburger business more seriously than anyone else. - Ray Kroc

My metabolism stinks. I can gain weight just listening to dinner music. - Ron Dentinger

Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! - Lydia Child

The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - John Wooden

It doesn't matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was. - Anne Sexton

After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations. - Oscar Wilde

My heart is happy, my mind is free.
I had a father who talked with me. - Hilde Bigelow

Those who slew my father I drove into exile... and defeated them in battle. - Augustus

My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. - Clarence B. Kelland

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Henry Ward Beecher

The Holy Father's newest Encyclacle? Like anyone cares what he rides around on. - Archie Bunker

I haven't taught people in 50 years what my father taught by example in one week. - Mario Cuomo

My father used to say, "If you want to be different, do something different." - Wynton Marsalis

I can get motivated seeing a kid at my son's school overcome a learning disability. - Jason Alexander

My father had a piano that was a nickelodeon - put a nickel, and the roller would play. - Frank Sinatra

Middle Age is the awkward period when Father Time starts catching up with Mother Nature. - Harold Coffin

I definitely want my son Brooklyn christened, but I don't know into what religion yet. - David Beckham

You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father's. - Robert Frost

Don't criticize what you don't understand, son. You never walked in that man's shoes. - Elvis Presley

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

I'm on a strict liquid diet: Mimosas for breakfast, Margaritas for lunch, Martinis for dinner. - Unknown

The truly free man is the one who will turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse. - Jules Renard

I had a feeling once about mathematics – that I saw it all... but it was after dinner and I let it go. - Winston Churchill

When I invite a woman to dinner I expect her to look at my face.
That's the price she has to pay. - Groucho Marx

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell

I'm into all that sappy stuff - a surprise picnic, nice dinner, or traveling. I'm kind of an old romantic. - Will Estes

Because of their cuisine, Germans don't consider farting rude. They'd certainly be out of luck if they did. - P.J. O'Rourke

Why something in the public interest such as television news can be fought over, like a chain of hamburger stands, eludes me. - Jimmy Breslin

I was Ashallayn’darkmyr Tallyn, son of Mab, former prince of the Unseelie Court, and I was not afraid of a witch on a broom. - Julie Kagawa

My father was a baker and a lot of people do what their families did and I could have done that but I wanted to stay in show business. - Christopher Walken

When I was nine, my father said 'You can take piano lessons or do karate' - I had a black belt and was competing before I was 19. - Elodie Yung

I want to keep fighting because it is the only thing that keeps me out of the hamburger joints. If I don't fight, I'll eat this planet. - George Foreman


Invisible Homeless Man

No Muff Too Tough

Safe Removals

Yoga Business Card

Segway in Rural Norway

Mom Lookout

Dog Diner

It's Too Cold To Ride Outside

Ye Olde Simple Simon

High Tensile Snow

Target Entry

Squirrel Feeder Trap

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Florida Sewer Rat

Crane Drop

Special Touch

Muscle Control

Selfie Stuck

Organic Compromise

Crab Collection

Basketball Car

Apathy Mountain

Ready To Leave

Portable Samurai