#1 humor site on the 'net

Pen Sale Not

When it's cheaper to buy one at a time

Pen Sale Not thanks to Howard Chapman

Some department store employees don't excel at math

QuotaBills
Shopping is my cardio. - Carrie Bradshaw

Sales Talk: Trade wind - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Window Shopping: Eye browsing - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

These are cathedrals of shopping. - Emile Zola

Tailor Shop: Last of the big-time menders - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Inequality of knowledge is the key to a sale. - Neil O Gustafson

Leanardo De Cappuccino: Founder, coffee shop chain - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. - Oscar Wilde

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker

A shop should be like a song of which you never tire. - Harry Gordon Selfridge

Malaria: Several shopping centers close to each other - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Pre-Law: The major of a person who will end up in sales - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens? - Alan King

A good thing sells itself; a bad thing advertises itself for sale. - African Saying

I spent seven hours in a beauty shop... and that was for the estimate. - Phyllis Diller

Whoever said money can't buy happiness didn't know where to shop. - Gertrude Stein

Bargain Sale: A place where a woman can ruin one dress while she buys another - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Someone told me that each equation I included in the book would halve the sales. - Stephen Hawking

I'm so ugly I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get. - Rodney Dangerfield

Marketers need to build digital relationships and reputation before closing a sale. - Chris Brogan

Please don't come to my garage sale if you've ever let me borrow something. - Mike Spears

My legs are so sore from the gym that I almost couldn't walk to the donut shop. - Bill Murray

When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

Every sale has five basic obstacles: no need, no money, no hurry, no desire, no trust. - Zig Ziglar

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek

Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown

I went to a garage sale. "How much for the garage?" "It's not for sale." - Steven Wright

To me, job titles don't matter. Everyone is in sales. It's the only way we stay in business. - Harvey Mackay

Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said, "Cigarettes contain fat." - Dave Barry

I remember when the candle shop burned won. Everyone stood around singing "Happy Birthday." - Steven Wright

Everything is for sale in Hollywood; the fairy tale, the costume, the pumpkin, the footman and the mice. - Amanda Eliasch

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

Too often, sales reps simply regurgitate their presentations and expect to land the sale. It doesn't work. - Harvey Mackay

When one may pay out over two million dollars to presidential and Congressional campaigns, the U.S. government is virtually up for sale. - John W. Gardner

Fall: The season when your wife buys new winter clothes so she will have something to wear when she goes out shopping for spring outfits - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I hate smart sales clerks. I said to one, "What do you have in lingerie?" She says, "More than you'll ever have!" - Phyllis Diller

New Pasta Diet: Just walk pasta bakery without stopping. Walk pasta candy store without stopping. Walk pasta ice cream shop without stopping. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Schools must stop being holding pens to keep energetic young people off the job market and off the streets. We stretch puberty out a long, long time. - Toni Morrison


Nutella Soother

Autumn Camouflage

Go Play Outside

Be Someone

Arkansas Divorce Application

Three Finger Carrot

Braided Horse Tail

Owl Glove

Far North Cable Guys

Openish Hours

Lead Sled Dog

Pet Food Tester

Gold Bar Carrot Cake

Looking For A Mate

Food For Thought

Kanye Twitty

Skull Tentacles

Ukrainian Cattle Car

CreepEye

Canadian Whiskey

Winter Tree

WrenchWare

Dog Sled

Winter Ready