#1 humor site on the 'net

Perfect Pizza

Golf Gourmet - adding a hole in one for French Fries

Perfect Pizza thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Photographing a cake can be art. - Irving Penn

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - James Thurber

Food is the most primitive form of comfort. - Sheila Graham

Cake is the answer, no matter the question. - Unknown

She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson

Char: Common method of cooking over a campfire - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I am putting real plums into an imaginary cake. - Mary McCarthy

Food is symbolic of love when words are inadequate. - Alan D Wolfe

Bacon bits are like fairy dust of the food community. - Unknown

My policy on cake is pro having it and pro eating it. - Boris Johnson

The cinema is not a slice of life, but a piece of cake. - Alfred Hitchcock

The food in Yugoslavia is fine if you like pork tartare. - Ed Begley Jr.

False Economy: using only 30 candles on her 40th birthday cake - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The rich would have to eat money if the poor did not provide food. - Russia Proverb

Your diet is a bank account. Good food choices are good investments. - Bethenny Frankel

After exercising I always eat pizza... just kidding. I don't exercise. - Unknown

Exercise is king, nutrition is queen. Put them together and you have a kingdom. - Jack LaLanne

I don't follow trends. I make each cake for a particular wedding, or event. - Ron Ben-Israel

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. - Unknown

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

My favourite place to eat is my grandma's kitchen. She makes a mean crab cake. - Karlie Kloss

When someone asks if you'd like cake or pie, why not say you want cake and pie? - Lisa Loeb

An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed. - A.J. Liebling

A recipe is only a theme, which an intelligent cook can play each time with a variation. - Madame Benoit

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. - Garrison Keillor

Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. - Mark Twain

Let's be frank, the Italians' technological contribution to humankind stopped with the pizza oven. - Bill Bryson

Going without food or water will kill the body, but the lack of relationship will kill the minds and spirit. - David Jeremiah

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

I'm not always optimistic. You wouldn't have all cylinders cooking if you were always like Mary Poppins. - Carol Burnett

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron

Malenutrition: The practice of depriving a man from food for more than a couple of hours - or during a football game - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A burrito is a delicious food item that breaks down all social barriers and leads to temporary spiritual enlightenment. - Lisi Harrison

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.' - Jerry Seinfeld

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo

Mushroom: 1. A motel for quickies; 2. The place where they store the school food; 3. A room that has no sides, no walls, no doors and no ceilings. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There is one longing almost as deep and imperious as the desire for food and sleep. It is the desire to be great. It is the desire to be important. - Dale Carnegie


Hog Hunter

Magic Puppies

Log Sticks

Tree Face

Camper Tank

Shipley Donut Pants

Distressing Artwork

Child's Motorcycle Helmet

Montana Mountain Bike

Sealtastic

Bland Entrance

Cruising Advice

Cat Dugout

Open Drive Through

Secret Revealed

Tired Flagpole

Bent Car Sculpture

Cow Jacket

Thanks For Noticing

Overflow Truck Garden

Beach Sign Training

Encouraging Seal

GMC Pool

Nature Calls