Puff Inhalant

Nature is cheaper than therapy. - M P Zarrella

Caring is the essence of nursing. - Jean Watson

I went to a massage parlor. It was self service. - Rodney Dangerfield

False Doctrine: Giving people the wrong medicine - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

Flattery is alright, so long as you don't inhale. - Adlai Stevenson

Nursing would be a dream job if there were no doctors. - Gerhard Kocher

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

Drugs are not always necessary. Belief in recovery always is. - Norman Cousins

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

A nurse will always give us hope, an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets

Chiropractor: A Doctor who works his fingers to the bone - yours - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Medicine is only for those who cannot imagine doing anything else. - Luanda Grazette

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett

Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs. - Homer Simpson

The good-news stories in medicine are early detection, early intervention. - Thomas R Insel

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

The latest thing in psychiatry is group therapy. Instead of couches, they use bunk beds. - Henny Youngman

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

The yoga mat is a good place to turn when talk therapy and antidepressants aren't enough. - Amy Weintraub

I have had my television aerials removed. It is the moral equivalent of a prostate operation. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce

When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

Some of these people need ten years of therapy - ten sentences of mine do not equal ten years of therapy. - Oscar Wilde

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler

'Psychotherapy' is a private, confidential conversation that has nothing to do with illness, medicine, or healing. - Thomas Szasz

It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

In other industries, value is defined by the ultimate stakeholder - the one who benefits, or not, from the service. We should do the same in medicine. - Dave deBronkart