Puff Inhalant

Quack: A duck's Doctor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Clinic: House of pill repute. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous

Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

An operation of the most extreme daring. - Alfred Jodl

Borscht: Beet soup with high blood pressure - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny

I went to a massage parlor. It was self service. - Rodney Dangerfield

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron

The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore

I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman

Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. - William Osler

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled. - Red Skelton

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

Operation: A surgical job taking minutes to do and years to describe - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back. - Richard Lewis

The good-news stories in medicine are early detection, early intervention. - Thomas R Insel

When it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain. - Graham Norton

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

If you want to get out of medicine the fullest enjoyment, be students all your lives. - David Riesman

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

There are some things in life where it's better to receive than to give, and massage is one of them. - Al Michaels

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons

We cannot embrace God's forgiveness if we are so busy clinging to past wounds and nursing old grudges. - T D Jakes

Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman

Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht

The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler

It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

There are three subjects on which the knowledge of the medical profession in general is woefully weak; they are manners, morals, and medicine. - Gerald F Lieberman

Nurse: 1. A woman whose business is to make sickness a pleasure; 2. A young women who holds your wrist and then expects your pulse to be normal. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer