#1 humor site on the 'net

Pumpkin Dentures

Halloween takes a toll on aging pumpkins

Pumpkin Dentures thanks to Sally Densen

QuotaBills
Pumpkin pie fixes everything. - Unknown

Mind sees ghost when frightened and hopeless. - Toba Beta

Acting is like a Halloween mask that you put on. - River Phoenix

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth. - Unknown

It's easier to dismiss ghosts in the daylight. - Patricia Briggs

Produce great pumpkins, the pies will follow later. - Unknown

Even pearls are dark before the whiteness of his teeth. - William R. Alger

There is magic in the night when pumpkins glow by moonlight. - Unknown

I don't believe in ghosts but they blindly believe in me. - Amit Abraham

A house with old furniture has no need of ghosts to be haunted. - Hope Mirrlees

I love the spirit of Halloween and the energy that comes with it. - Katharine McPhee

The man with a toothache thinks everyone happy whose teeth are sound. - George Bernard Shaw

Misers part with nothing until they die. Then they give up the ghost. - Latin Proverb

It is after you have lost your teeth that you can afford to buy steaks. - Pierre Renoir

You don't have to brush your teeth - just the ones you want to keep. - Unknown

Too many of today's children have straight teeth and crooked morals. - Unknown

A man loses his illusions first, his teeth second, and his follies last. - Helen Rowland

I'm not a real Halloween kind of guy, because Halloween is every day. - Al Jourgensen

The idea of dying and coming back is what makes the Halloween films work. - Donald Pleasence

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. - Rodney Dangerfield

I love Halloween: the cold air, the spooky dangers lurking around the corner. - Evan Peters

We're all just ghosts on a wire seeking the prick of an electric thought. - Robert Fanney

The ghosts of things that never happened are worse than the ghosts of things that did. - L.M. Montgomery

Maybe all the people who say ghosts don't exist are just afraid to admit that they do. - Michael Ende

Being in a band you can wear whatever you want - it's like an excuse for Halloween every day. - Gwen Stefani

It is guaranteed to put all teeth on edge, including George Washington's, wherever they might be. - Vincent Canby

Seems like Americans just want it to be Halloween all year. The holiday just keeps getting more popular. - Amity Shlaes

The pumpkin hearing, "Let's carve and scoop,"
Ran fast as he could, leaving pumpkin poop. - Shirley Thomas

Nudist Colony Halloween parties are especially scary. They give the word 'moon' a new cruel meaning. - Ray Palla

As a kid, you looked forward to Charlie Brown during Halloween and you looked forward to Monday Night Football. - Nick Ferguson

The house smelled musty and damp, and a little sweet, as if it were haunted by the ghosts of long-dead cookies. - Neil Gaiman

If human beings had genuine courage, they'd wear their costumes every day of the year, not just on Halloween. - Douglas Coupland

Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humor? - Frank Colby

I was Ashallayn’darkmyr Tallyn, son of Mab, former prince of the Unseelie Court, and I was not afraid of a witch on a broom. - Julie Kagawa

All Halloween candy pales next to candy corn, if only because candy corn used to appear, like the Great Pumpkin, solely on Halloween. - Rosecrans Baldwin

It is good for a man to invite his ghosts into his warm interior, out of the wild night, into the firelight, out of the howling dark. - A.S. Byatt

Halloween is one of my favorite days of the year. I have a strict rule: I don't work on Halloween and I won't travel on Halloween. - Simon Sinek

Men are like pumpkins. It seems like all the good one are either taken or they've had everything scraped out of their heads with a spoon. - Unknown

The light of a new day always chases the shadows of the night away, and shows us that the shape of our fears is only the ghost of our own minds. - Terry Goodkind

I love the scents of winter! For me, it's all about the feeling you get when you smell pumpkin spice, cinnamon, nutmeg, gingerbread and spruce. - Taylor Swift


Winterized Motorcycle

If IKEA Ran GM

Six Hunnit

Different Drugs

Extreme Value

Spotted Spotters

Ant Attack

Facebook Closure

African Meal on Wheels

Hadoukens

Free Gas

Wannabe Shoplifter

Breaker Bypass

Ice Hand

Invisible Homeless Man

No Muff Too Tough

Safe Removals

Yoga Business Card

Segway in Rural Norway

Mom Lookout

Dog Diner

It's Too Cold To Ride Outside

Ye Olde Simple Simon

High Tensile Snow