#1 humor site on the 'net

Redneck Plane Repair

How Bubba the Mechanic gets cheap airfare

Redneck Plane Repair thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
There is no flying without wings. - French Proverb

Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible. - Lord Kelvin

Roasted pigeons will not fly into one's mouth. - Dutch Proverb

Feet, what do I need you for when I have wings to fly? - Frida Kahlo

If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets. - Mel Brooks

He imagines a necessary joy in things that must fly to eat. - Wendell Berry

If God wanted us to fly, he would have given us air tickets. - Mel Brooks

The sky is the limit only for those who aren't afraid to fly. - Bob Bello

The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets. - Al McGuire

Live in the sunshine
Swim in the sea
Drink the wild air - Ralph Waldo Emerson

This is perfect weather for today's game. Not a breath of air. - Curt Gowdy

The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm. - Alexander Woollcott

If ever a chef were to cook a fly, he would keep the breast for himself. - Poland Proverb

If I could light my own farts I could fly to the moon or at least Uranus. - Robin Williams

Something in the air this morning made me feel like flying... Spring Flight - Eileen Granfors

Thank God men cannot as yet fly and lay waste the sky as well as the earth. - Henry David Thoreau

Not the cry, but the flight of a wild duck, leads the flock to fly and follow. - Chinese Proverb

Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo. - Al Gore

It's OK to have butterflies in your stomach. Just get them to fly in formation. - Rob Gilbert

Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly. - Lanston Hughes

My tent doesn't look like much but it is air-conditioned and has exceptional location. - Fennel Hudson

It's easier to build up a child than it is to repair an adult. Choose your words wisely. - Unknown

We breathe air, trees make air, homework kills trees, therefore homework is going to kill us all. - Unknown

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

Nothing can move a man who is paid by the hour; how sweet the flight of time seems to his calm mind. - Charles D Warner

Caesar dreamed that he was flying above the clouds, and now that he was clasping the hand of Jupiter. - Suetonius

I don't like all this fresh air: I'm from Los Angeles; I don't trust any air I can't see. - Bob Hope

Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and life to everything. - Plato

When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it. - Henry Ford

There's nothing to match curling up with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house. - Joe Ryan

A fly, Sir, may sting a stately horse and make him wince; but, one is but an insect, and the other is a horse still. - Samuel Johnson

The only people flying to Europe will be terrorists, so it will be, "Will you be sitting in armed or unarmed?" - Robin Williams

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all. - Robert Orben

With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, "How can I get my kite in the air?" He told me to run off a cliff. - Rodney Dangerfield

If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them. - Henry David Thoreau

If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of twenty-two, it would have changed the history of music... and of aviation. - Tom Stoppard

Southwest Airlines is successful because the company understands it's a customer service company. It also happens to be an airline. - Harvey Mackay

Pilots take no special joy in walking: pilots like flying. Pilots generally take pride in a good landing, not in getting out of the vehicle. - Neil Armstrong

From lessening negativity to boosting creativity, hiking in fresh air actually boosts brain power and can help certain parts of the brain grow. - Meredith Carey

This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet. - Rumi


Back In Five Minutes

Winterized Motorcycle

If IKEA Ran GM

Six Hunnit

Different Drugs

Extreme Value

Spotted Spotters

Ant Attack

Facebook Closure

African Meal on Wheels

Hadoukens

Free Gas

Wannabe Shoplifter

Breaker Bypass

Ice Hand

Invisible Homeless Man

No Muff Too Tough

Safe Removals

Yoga Business Card

Segway in Rural Norway

Mom Lookout

Dog Diner

It's Too Cold To Ride Outside

Ye Olde Simple Simon