Redneck Speed Bump

Unsafe at any speed. - Ralph Nader

Every bump is a bounce. - Robert Kraft

OK, so what's the speed of dark? - Steven Wright

Damn the torpedoes! Full speed ahead! - David Farragut

Speed is life. Altitude is life insurance. - Unknown

The speed of a runaway horse counts for nothing. - Jean Cocteau

In skating over thin ice our safety is in our speed. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Walter Mondale has all the charisma of a speed bump. - Will Durst

Know your lines and don't bump into the furniture. - Spencer Tracy

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. - Albert Einstein

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

Never say never because limits, like fears, are often just an illusion. - Michael Jordan

Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly. - Morticia Addams

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

You got to have smelt a lot of mule manure before you can sing like a hillbilly. - Hank Williams

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

A great athlete does not come from muscle, speed, and skill, but from the mind first. - Dan E. Welker

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure. - Scott Adams

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. - Woody Allen

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Faith is belief in what you cannot see or prove or touch. Faith is walking face-first and full-speed into the dark. - Elizabeth Gilbert

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off. - Woody Allen

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

Living in the past is a dull and lonely business; looking back strains the neck muscles, causes you to bump into people not going your way. - Edna Ferber

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz