Redneck Speed Bump

Unsafe at any speed. - Ralph Nader

OK, so what's the speed of dark? - Steven Wright

Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest. - Homer

Speed is not a priority, just enjoy your hike. - Barry Putra

There is more to life than increasing its speed. - Mahatma Gandhi

The speed of a runaway horse counts for nothing. - Jean Cocteau

Walter Mondale has all the charisma of a speed bump. - Will Durst

The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy. - Von Clausewitz

Know your lines and don't bump into the furniture. - Spencer Tracy

Losing an illusion makes you wiser than finding a truth. - Ludwig Borne

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. - Albert Einstein

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

Illusion is the dust the devil throws in the eyes of the foolish. - Minna Antrim

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

You got to have smelt a lot of mule manure before you can sing like a hillbilly. - Hank Williams

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

A great athlete does not come from muscle, speed, and skill, but from the mind first. - Dan E. Welker

The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance - it is the illusion of knowledge. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality. - Irish Murdoch

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. - Woody Allen

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

I took a course in speed reading. Then I got Reader's Digest on microfilm. By the time I got the machine set up, I was done. - Steven Wright

Physics investigates the essential nature of the world, and biology describes a local bump. Human psychology describes a bump on the bump. - Willard Quine