Redneck TV Tray

Fishing Show: Reel-life TV. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A TV licence is a licence to print money. - Roy Thomson

It's the hottest thing on television. - Donald Trump

Ah, TV respects me. It laughs with me, not at me! - Homer Simpson

I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach. - WC Fields

Kids don't remember their best day of television. - Unknown

Babysitters: Girls you hire to watch your television set. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Television is called a medium because anything good on it is rare. - Fred Allen

Most of the time he sounds like he has a mouth full of toilet paper. - Rex Reed

TV is simply a place where people go when they get tired of thinking. - Kevin Devitte

Television Programming: Material that fills the time between commercials - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Getting an award from TV is like being kissed by someone with bad breath. - Mason Williams

There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets? - Dick Cavett

Do you realize if it weren't for Edison we'd be watching TV by candlelight? - Al Boliska

In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows. - Woody Allen

I hate television. I hate it as much as peanuts. But I can't stop eating peanuts. - Orson Welles

If it weren't for electricity, we'd all be watching television by candlelight. - George Gobel

Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object. - Laurence J Peter

One of the most important gifts we have in television - the ability to heal through laughter. - Soleil M Frye

Jitterbug: 1. A Scotchman in front of a pay toilet; 2. Insect that's had too much coffee. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I need to tone up, as I eat a lot of fast food. I love Maccy D's, Subway and Domino's. - Amy Childs

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

By eating many fruits and vegetables in place of fast food and junk food, people could avoid obesity. - David H Murdock

We pick politicians by how they look on TV and Miss America on where she stands on the issues. Isn't that a little backwards? - Jay Leno

The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV. - Kim Kardashian

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

The average family spends 30 hours in front of a television, and they say they don't have the time to have a balanced, integrated life. - Stephen Covey

More people watch television and get their information that way than read books. I find new technology and new ways of communication very exciting. - Stephen Covey

What brought me into the TV business is what keeps me here and happy. You can learn something new every day if you have a really positive attitude. - Katie Couric

If you liberals keep gettin' your way - we're all gonna hear one big loud flush. The sound of the U.S. of A. goin' straight down the toilet. - Archie Bunker

When I find out a hotel doesn't have a DSL, it's like "What? There's no toilet?" Once you get used to high speed you ain't going back. - Robin Williams

Nowadays they say you need a special chip to put in the TV so kids can't watch this and that. In my day, we didn't need a chip. My mom was the chip. End of story. - Ray Charles

There is something about a martini,
Ere the dining and dancing begin;
And to tell you the truth, It is not the vermouth -
I think that perhaps it's the gin. - Ogden Nash

NASA asked me to create meals for the space shuttle. Thai chicken was the favorite. I flew in a fake space shuttle, but I have no desire to go into space after seeing the toilet. - Rachael Ray

'Antiques Roadshow' is my favorite show. Every Monday night I have one hour of appointment television. I get the popcorn out and tell my husband, 'Don't bother me.' - Lara Spencer

I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30. - Groucho Marx

I know that we shall meet problems along the way, but I'd far rather see for myself what's going on in the world outside, than rely on newspapers, television, politicians and religious leaders to tell me what I should be thinking. - Michael Palin

I am not Spock. But given the choice, if I had to be someone else, I would be Spock. If someone said, "You can have the choice of being any other TV character ever played," I would choose Spock. I like him. I admire him. I respect him. - Leonard Nimoy