Redneck Water Fountain

Out of water, I am nothing. - Duke Kahanamoku

Water is the only drink for a wise man. - Henry David Thoreau

Hard Water: The scientific name for ice - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Water that does not move is always shallow. - Sami Proverb

Thirst was made for water; inquiry for truth. - C S Lewis

Like water, we are truest to our nature in repose. - Cyril Connolly

He was so good he would pour rose water on a toad. - Douglas Jerrold

The scalded dog fears hot water, and afterwards, cold. - Italian Proverb

Droughts are because god didn't pay his water bill. - Steven Wright

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle. - Mitch Hedberg

Don't bargain for fish which are still in the water. - India Proverb

You can't cross the sea merely by staring at the water. - Rabindranath Tagore

I moved to Florida because you don't have to shovel water. - James Randi

I ran a 100-mile marathon, and I was powered by coconut water. - Jesse Itzler

Water, air, and cleanliness are the chief articles in my pharmacy. - Napoleon Bonaparte

If his IQ slips any lower, we'll have to water him twice a day. - Molly Ivins

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it. - WC Fields

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart

When in doubt as to the applicability of a disinfectant, use soap and water. - Martin H. Fischer

You don't drown by falling into water. You only drown if you stay there. - Zig Ziglar

I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it. - Joan Rivers

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

A woman is like a teabag. Only in hot water do you realize how strong she is. - Nancy Reagan

Don't be a fish; be a frog. Swim in the water and jump when you hit ground. - Kim Young-ha

Don't throw away the old bucket until you know whether the new one holds water. - Swedish Proverb

There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland

I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco

Start writing, no matter what. The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on. - Louis L'Amour

The dignity of movement of an iceberg is due to only one ninth of it being above water. - Ernest Hemingway

The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth. - Chinese Proverb

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

After all, when a stone is dropped into a pond, the water continues quivering even after the stone has sunk to the bottom. - Arthur Golden

A leader is not an administrator who loves to run others, but someone who carries water for his people, so that they can get on with their jobs. - Robert Townsend