Royals Leave Hospital

Cleopatra: Queen of denial. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Every man is a king at home. - English Proverb

Scotland is the Canada of England. - Rainn Wilson

When you strike at a king, you must kill him. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Never live like a king, and die like a pauper. - Joe Segal

I think Queen Elizabeth II is a charming woman. - Malcolm Muggeridge

The English never draw a line without blurring it. - Winston Churchill

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

Britain's goal is not to survive, but to prevail. - Winston Churchill

This is the sort of English up with which I will not put. - Winston Churchill

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

Germlish: Training done using a mixture of English & German - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The best thing I know between France and England is the sea. - Douglas Jerrold

You only have to survive in England and all is forgiven you. - Alan Bennett

The English winter - ending in July, to recommence in August. - Lord Byron

The monarchical institution in England is immensely valuable. - Malcolm Muggeridge

The English have three vegetables and two of them are cabbage. - Walter Page

What Great Britain calls the Far East is to us the near north. - Robert Gordon Menzies

I would rather be a beggar and single than a queen and married. - Queen Elizabeth I

If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English. - Wilfred Sheed

There'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood. - Bob Hope

Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett

In England there are sixty different religions and only one sauce. - Francesco Caracciolo

At the end of the game, the King and the pawn go into the same box. - Italian Proverb

To eat well in England you should have breakfast three times a day. - W Somerset Maugham

We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill

Martin Luther King did not say, 'I have a mission statement.' - Simon Sinek

The institution of royalty in any form is an insult to the human race. - Mark Twain

The man who can dominate a London dinner-table can dominate the world. - Oscar Wilde

The English are not an inventive people; they don't eat enough pie. - Thomas Edison

Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a pauper. - Adelle Davis

When it's three o'clock in New York, it's still 1938 in London. - Bette Midler

It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen. - Dolly Parton

I used to go missing a lot... Miss Canada, Miss United Kingdom, Miss World. - George Best

There are ways of singing in English that are not just the same as in French. - Coeur de Pirate

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

My way of joe-king is telling the truth; that is the funniest joke in the world. - George Bernard Shaw

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers

There's nothing like an English weirdo. We have the best nutters in the world. - Sharon Osbourne

"The Hunchback Of Notre Dame" had the big fat English actor, Charles Lawson. - Archie Bunker

The funniest line in English is "Get it?" When you say that, everyone chortles. - Garrison Keillor

I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a King. - Elizabeth I

The noblest prospect which a Scotsman ever sees is the high road that leads him to England. - Samuel Johnson

A broken heart is a very pleasant complaint for a man in London if he has a comfortable income. - George Bernard Shaw

Ireland is a small but insuppressible island half an hour nearer the sunset than Great Britain. - Thomas Kettle

My tastes are not those of the king, who has none, except for hunting and mechanic's labour. - Marie Antoinette

Diatribe: 1. An extinct race; 2. The group of native Brits that worship the late Princess Diana. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Oats: A grain, which in England is generally given to horses, but in Scotland supports the people - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The Kingdom of France will be thus ruled by King Charles VII... He will enter Paris in good company. - Joan of Arc

It was so hot today that Burger King was singing, 'if you want it your way, cook it yourself.' - Johnny Carson

In America, the policeman is a working-class hero. In England, the policeman is a working-class traitor. - Martin Amis

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

If it is good to have one foot in England, it is still better, or at least as good, to have the other out of it. - Henry James

I welcome him like I welcome cold sores. He's from England, he's angry, and he's got Mad Power Disease. - Paula Abdul

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

There was a fire at the main Inland Revenue office in London today, but it was put out before any serious good was done. - Ronnie Corbett

The great Gaels of Ireland are the men that God made mad.
For all their wars are merry, and all their songs are sad. - G K Chesterton

Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

Every street in London has a camera, and if you ever travel up the M4, it feels as if George Orwell should be your chauffeur. - Don McCullin

'Good English' is whatever educated people talk; so that what is good in one place or time would not be so in another. - C S Lewis

The diamond may adorn royalty, regardless of personal worth; but jewels of thought render even poverty illustrious and sublime. - Gems for the Fireside

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

I think what's going on with gorillas is pretty bad. The fact is that you can buy gorilla meat in London any day you want it. - Adam Ant

It is Ireland's sacred duty to send over, every few years, a playwright to save the English theatre from inarticulate glumness. - Kenneth Tynan

In England people actually try to be brilliant at breakfast. That is so dreadful of them! Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast. - Oscar Wilde

Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin