Royals Leave Hospital

No man is an Ireland. - Richard Daley

England is a nation of shopkeepers. - Napoleon Bonaparte

I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West

Never live like a king, and die like a pauper. - Joe Segal

The English never draw a line without blurring it. - Winston Churchill

England can never be ruined except by a Parliament. - Lord Burleigh

Britain's goal is not to survive, but to prevail. - Winston Churchill

In the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed man is king. - Erasmus

He speaks English, Spanish, and he's bilingual too. - Don King

Germlish: Training done using a mixture of English & German - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You only have to survive in England and all is forgiven you. - Alan Bennett

Irene Lorenzo, queen of the Women's Lubrication Movement. - Archie Bunker

The English winter - ending in July, to recommence in August. - Lord Byron

The English have three vegetables and two of them are cabbage. - Walter Page

You know it's summer in Ireland when the rain gets warmer. - Hal Roach

I would rather be a beggar and single than a queen and married. - Queen Elizabeth I

Don King is a big ... thief, and everyone in this room knows it. - Donald Trump

In Ireland, a writer is looked upon as a failed conversationalist. - Unknown

We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill

Britain's most useful role is somewhere between bee and dinosaur. - Harold MacMillan

Martin Luther King did not say, 'I have a mission statement.' - Simon Sinek

The man who can dominate a London dinner-table can dominate the world. - Oscar Wilde

England is an empire, Germany is a nation, a race, France is a person. - Jules Michelet

The English are not an inventive people; they don't eat enough pie. - Thomas Edison

The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm. - Alexander Woollcott

Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a pauper. - Adelle Davis

When it's three o'clock in New York, it's still 1938 in London. - Bette Midler

I used to go missing a lot... Miss Canada, Miss United Kingdom, Miss World. - George Best

Civilization - a heap of rubble scavenged by scrawny English Lit. vultures. - Malcolm Muggeridge

There are ways of singing in English that are not just the same as in French. - Coeur de Pirate

Martin Luther King took us to the mountaintop; I want to take us to the bank. - Don King

Exercise is king, nutrition is queen. Put them together and you have a kingdom. - Jack LaLanne

My way of joe-king is telling the truth; that is the funniest joke in the world. - George Bernard Shaw

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

There's nothing like an English weirdo. We have the best nutters in the world. - Sharon Osbourne

I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe

"The Hunchback Of Notre Dame" had the big fat English actor, Charles Lawson. - Archie Bunker

Men are like a deck of cards. You'll find the occasional king, but most are jacks. - Laura Swenson

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining. - Groucho Marx

The funniest line in English is "Get it?" When you say that, everyone chortles. - Garrison Keillor

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a King. - Elizabeth I

The trouble with Ireland is that it's a country full of genius, with absolutely no talent. - Hugh Leonard

I want a house with a garden, but slap bang in the centre of London. Next door to a sushi bar. - Michelle Dockery

Playing Shakespeare is so tiring. You never get a chance to sit down unless you're a king. - Josephine Hull

I had to have some balls to be Irish Catholic in South London. Most of that time I spent fighting. - Pierce Brosnan

The first who was king was a fortunate soldier: Who serves his country well has no need of ancestors. - Voltaire

It was so hot today that Burger King was singing, 'if you want it your way, cook it yourself.' - Johnny Carson

In America, the policeman is a working-class hero. In England, the policeman is a working-class traitor. - Martin Amis

I'm a games and theory king of guy. I love puzzles, so it was fun dissecting Shakespeare's prose. - Neil Patrick Harris

I have a catch phrase: "You're fired," ... Don King has a catch phrase: "Not Guilty." - Donald Trump

If you find yourself saying, "But I can't speak English...", try adding the word "... yet". - Jane Revell

I welcome him like I welcome cold sores. He's from England, he's angry, and he's got Mad Power Disease. - Paula Abdul

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde

If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson

There was a fire at the main Inland Revenue office in London today, but it was put out before any serious good was done. - Ronnie Corbett

Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

Every street in London has a camera, and if you ever travel up the M4, it feels as if George Orwell should be your chauffeur. - Don McCullin

'Good English' is whatever educated people talk; so that what is good in one place or time would not be so in another. - C S Lewis

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

I think what's going on with gorillas is pretty bad. The fact is that you can buy gorilla meat in London any day you want it. - Adam Ant

It is Ireland's sacred duty to send over, every few years, a playwright to save the English theatre from inarticulate glumness. - Kenneth Tynan

In England people actually try to be brilliant at breakfast. That is so dreadful of them! Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast. - Oscar Wilde

In this year, King Aethelstan, Lord of Warriors, ring-giver to men... won eternal glory, in battle with sword edges, around Brunaburh. - Unknown

The English eat all sorts of birds - pigeons, ducks, sparrows - but if you tell them you eat puffin, you might as well come from Mars. - Bjork

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin

Miracle: An act or event out of the order of nature and unaccountable, as beating a normal hand of four kings and an ace with four aces and a king. - Ambrose Bierce