#1 humor site on the 'net

Russian Windshield Wiper

Looking for cheap windshield wiper blades?

Russian Windshield Wiper thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Guaranteed smear vision

QuotaBills
Khaki: A thing for starting a car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Extraordinary how potent cheap music is. - Noel Coward

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining. - John F Kennedy

I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill. - Henny Youngman

Look at life through the windshield, not the rearview mirror. - Byrd Baggett

Some days you're a bug, some days you're a windshield. - Price Cobb

It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. - Frederick Douglass

The shortest distance between two points is usually under repair. - Unknown

Some days you're the bug. Some days you're the windshield. - Price Cobb

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

Honesty is a very expensive gift. Don't expect it from cheap people. - Warren Buffett

Real happiness is cheap enough, yet how dearly we pay for its counterfeit. - Hosea Ballou

It is sometimes as dangerous to be run into by a microbe as by a trolley car. - J.J. Walsh

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

Mexico: where life is cheap, death is rich, and the buzzards are never unhappy. - Edward Abbey

I shall make electricity so cheap that only the rich can afford to burn candles. - Thomas Edison

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

It's easier to build up a child than it is to repair an adult. Choose your words wisely. - Unknown

Make pumpkin bread as the default gift for everyone. It is cheap, it is beloved, it is carbs. - Karen Bender

My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." - Steven Wright

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

Give me a guitar, give me a piano, give me a broom and string, I wouldn't get bored anywhere. - Keith Richards

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

Laughter is like a windshield wiper - it won't stop the rain, but it will allow you to keep going. - Unknown

Indians are so dedicated to being so cheap for so long, that Indian people actually created the number zero. - Russell Peters

The average auto owner drives so blamed reckless I'm glad that he does git robbed when he pays a repair bill. - Kin Hubbard

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright


Cord Chewing

Surreal Cubist

Painting The Center Line

Names of the Colours

At Home Grave

Boatload Interception

Shadow Seats

Alice In Hulaland

French Army Knife

Putting Your Foot Down

Chicken Rider

ManHole

Hurricane Irene

Day At The Beach

Luxury Bungalows

Baby Brew

Kids Klub

Sheep Dog Distancing

Candy Hairess

Haircut For Staff Meetings

Bag Hang-Up

Dog Spa

Pacman Skeleton

Young Rock Star