Russian Windshield Wiper

Khaki: A thing for starting a car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Extraordinary how potent cheap music is. - Noel Coward

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining. - John F Kennedy

I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill. - Henny Youngman

Look at life through the windshield, not the rearview mirror. - Byrd Baggett

Some days you're a bug, some days you're a windshield. - Price Cobb

It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. - Frederick Douglass

The shortest distance between two points is usually under repair. - Unknown

Some days you're the bug. Some days you're the windshield. - Price Cobb

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

Honesty is a very expensive gift. Don't expect it from cheap people. - Warren Buffett

Real happiness is cheap enough, yet how dearly we pay for its counterfeit. - Hosea Ballou

It is sometimes as dangerous to be run into by a microbe as by a trolley car. - J.J. Walsh

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

Mexico: where life is cheap, death is rich, and the buzzards are never unhappy. - Edward Abbey

I shall make electricity so cheap that only the rich can afford to burn candles. - Thomas Edison

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

It's easier to build up a child than it is to repair an adult. Choose your words wisely. - Unknown

Make pumpkin bread as the default gift for everyone. It is cheap, it is beloved, it is carbs. - Karen Bender

My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." - Steven Wright

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

Give me a guitar, give me a piano, give me a broom and string, I wouldn't get bored anywhere. - Keith Richards

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

Laughter is like a windshield wiper - it won't stop the rain, but it will allow you to keep going. - Unknown

Indians are so dedicated to being so cheap for so long, that Indian people actually created the number zero. - Russell Peters

The average auto owner drives so blamed reckless I'm glad that he does git robbed when he pays a repair bill. - Kin Hubbard

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright