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Shopping Wait-er

Shopping hours are never long enough for Wilbur's wife

Shopping Wait-er thanks to Wayne Nowazek

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Take my wife - please! - Henny Youngman

A man without a smiling face should not open a shop. - Chinese Proverb

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker

A shop should be like a song of which you never tire. - Harry Gordon Selfridge

No man should plant more garden than his wife can hoe. - Old Saying

I give unto my wife my second best bed, with the furniture. - William Shakespeare

My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday. - Rodney Dangerfield

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Milton Berle

I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife. - Tony Curtis

When my wife asked me to start a garden the first thing I dug up was an excuse. - Henny Youngman

All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express. - Milton Berle

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. - Rodney Dangerfield

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope

Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse

We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. - Joseph Campbell

While waiting for a Moses to lead us into the promised land, we have forgotten how to walk. - Wendell Johnson

Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown

During sex my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel. - Rodney Dangerfield

I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with 28 years ago. - Will Rogers

I went to a garage sale. "How much for the garage?" "It's not for sale." - Steven Wright

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass; it's about learning to dance in the rain. - Vivian Greene

To me, job titles don't matter. Everyone is in sales. It's the only way we stay in business. - Harvey Mackay

Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. - Woody Allen

Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they are on the same side. - Zig Ziglar

When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, "I was just whispering in her mouth". - Groucho Marx

A wise man will never tell his wife to keep quiet. He will tell her she looks beautiful with her mouth closed. - Unknown

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home. - Rodney Dangerfield

People shop and learn in a whole new way compared to just a few years ago, so marketers need to adapt or risk extinction. - Brian Halligan

My wife simply quoted, 'For better or worse.' It was only then that I realized the phrase was not multiple-choice. - Michael Gurnow

Most people stand on the dock of life waiting for their ship to come in when deep down inside they know it has never left port. - Zig Ziglar

Waiting to develop courage is just another form of procrastination. The most successful people take action while they’re afraid! - Unknown

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. - George Carlin

Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list. - Yakov Smirnoff


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