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Shopping Wait-er

Shopping hours are never long enough for Wilbur's wife

Shopping Wait-er thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Take my wife - please! - Henny Youngman

Window Shopping: Eye browsing - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Personally, I'm waiting for caller IQ. - Sandra Bernhard

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

Racing is life. Everything else is just... waiting. - Steve McQueen

A man without a smiling face should not open a shop. - Chinese Proverb

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker

Between the wish and the thing the world lies waiting. - Cormac McCarthy

Pre-Law: The major of a person who will end up in sales - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. - Henny Youngman

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield

As it turns out, now is the moment you've been waiting for. - Lucinda Williams

Behind every successful man is a woman. Behind her is his wife. - Groucho Marx

I met my wife on a ferry boat, and when we landed she gave me the slip. - Groucho Marx

Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die. - Malachy McCourt

My wife tells me that if I ever decide to leave, she's coming with me. - Jon Bon Jovi

When a man retires his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income. - Chi Chi Rodriguez

My best friend ran away with my wife. And let me tell you, I really miss him. - Henny Youngman

If you treat your wife like a thoroughbred, you'll never end up with a nag. - Zig Ziglar

Please don't come to my garage sale if you've ever let me borrow something. - Mike Spears

When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

If ever two were one, then surely we.
If ever man were loved by wife, then thee. - Anne Bradstreet

Stock Split: When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It was partially my fault that we got divorced. I tended to place my wife under a pedestal. - Woody Allen

Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown

My wife hasn't had a birthday in 4 years. She was born in the year of our Lord-only-knows. - Unknown

I went to a garage sale. "How much for the garage?" "It's not for sale." - Steven Wright

A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. - Joey Adams

A good wife is one who can mow the lawn in the summer and put up the storm windows in the winter. - WC Fields

Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said, "Cigarettes contain fat." - Dave Barry

Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they are on the same side. - Zig Ziglar

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

No man succeeds without a good woman behind him. Wife or mother, if it is both, he is twice blessed indeed. - Godfrey Winn

Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. - Ken Dodd

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

I'm amazed that my wife and I created two human beings from scratch, yet struggle to assemble the most basic of IKEA cabinets. - John Kinnear

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is. - Milton Berle

I hate smart sales clerks. I said to one, "What do you have in lingerie?" She says, "More than you'll ever have!" - Phyllis Diller

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx


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