#1 humor site on the 'net

Shopping Wait-er

Shopping hours are never long enough for Wilbur's wife

Shopping Wait-er thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard

Inequality of knowledge is the key to a sale. - Neil O Gustafson

Leanardo De Cappuccino: Founder, coffee shop chain - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A man without a smiling face should not open a shop. - Chinese Proverb

A deaf husband and a blind wife make the best couple. - French Proverb

Men count up the faults of those who keep them waiting. - French Proverb

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. - Henny Youngman

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters

My wife and I are getting remarried. Our divorce didn't work out. - Rodney Dangerfield

My wife and I thought we were in love, but it turned out to be benign. - Woody Allen

My wife likes the hockey smell because it's the smell of a warrior. - David Walton

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

My best friend ran away with my wife. And let me tell you, I really miss him. - Henny Youngman

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown

Marketers need to build digital relationships and reputation before closing a sale. - Chris Brogan

A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. - Irish Proverb

My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night. - Rodney Dangerfield

When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea. - Henny Youngman

We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. - Joseph Campbell

Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown

The world is more malleable than you think and it's waiting for you to hammer it into shape. - Bono

A good wife is one who can mow the lawn in the summer and put up the storm windows in the winter. - WC Fields

My wife is a real Puritan. She thinks licking the stamp on the envelope of a Valentine is foreplay. - Milton Berle

Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. - Woody Allen

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife. - Rodney Dangerfield

If you wait for perfect conditions to seize an opportunity, you'll be waiting till the day you die. - Mark Batterson

Everything is for sale in Hollywood; the fairy tale, the costume, the pumpkin, the footman and the mice. - Amanda Eliasch

Graduate School: The place where a young scholar goes off his Dad's payroll - and on to his wife's - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Too often, sales reps simply regurgitate their presentations and expect to land the sale. It doesn't work. - Harvey Mackay

The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!" - Red Skelton

Stop waiting for the right person to come into your life. Be the right person to come into someone else's life. - Unknown

I tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless. - Rodney Dangerfield

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is. - Milton Berle

New Pasta Diet: Just walk pasta bakery without stopping. Walk pasta candy store without stopping. Walk pasta ice cream shop without stopping. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list. - Yakov Smirnoff

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle

This is a honeydew day. That is when you get a day off and the wife says, "Honey, do this," and "Honey, do that" around the house. - Jim Lemon


Mouth Candy

Cleanup

Baby Shower

Business Hours

Back Massage Track

Beach Bum

Chicken Photobomb

Italian Electronic Humour

Tipsy Redneck

When You Roll A Tesla

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

House Maid For Men

Nintendo Auto Correct

Yoga Pants

Do Not Read Law

One Thousand Words

Single Men For Long-Term Commitment

Porsche Bird Droppings

Accordion Lessons

I Before E

Male Multitasker

Redneck Bird Feeder

Who Lost The Keys?

Teaching Hotle