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Shopping Wait-er

Shopping hours are never long enough for Wilbur's wife

Shopping Wait-er thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
A shop should be like a song of which you never tire. - Harry Gordon Selfridge

My wife and I were happy for twenty years... then we met. - Rodney Dangerfield

Being on a tightrope is living; everything else is waiting. - Karl Wallenda

A man's home is his castle, and his wife is the janitor. - Lucille Kallen

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

The antiques my wife buys at auctions are keeping me baroque. - Peter De Vries

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. - Henny Youngman

My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects. - Les Dawson

A man's mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault. - Walter Begehot

One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. - Groucho Marx

My wife and I thought we were in love, but it turned out to be benign. - Woody Allen

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

My wife tells me that if I ever decide to leave, she's coming with me. - Jon Bon Jovi

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

My best friend ran away with my wife. And let me tell you, I really miss him. - Henny Youngman

I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her. - Red Skelton

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. - Rodney Dangerfield

I'm so ugly I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get. - Rodney Dangerfield

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming. - Jimmy Carter

When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea. - Henny Youngman

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope

Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse

It was partially my fault that we got divorced. I tended to place my wife under a pedestal. - Woody Allen

In Las Vegas, a man said to his wife, "Give me the money I told you not to give me." - Henny Youngman

The world is more malleable than you think and it's waiting for you to hammer it into shape. - Bono

I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with 28 years ago. - Will Rogers

A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. - Joey Adams

I remember when the candle shop burned won. Everyone stood around singing "Happy Birthday." - Steven Wright

Everything is for sale in Hollywood; the fairy tale, the costume, the pumpkin, the footman and the mice. - Amanda Eliasch

Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they are on the same side. - Zig Ziglar

Stop waiting for the right person to come into your life. Be the right person to come into someone else's life. - Unknown

A man with a career can have no time to waste upon his wife and friends; he has to devote it wholly to his enemies. - John Hobbes

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

Most people stand on the dock of life waiting for their ship to come in when deep down inside they know it has never left port. - Zig Ziglar

With such riches as I have in life, you're always nervous. Being Irish, you're waiting for something to knock it sideways. - Pierce Brosnan

When one may pay out over two million dollars to presidential and Congressional campaigns, the U.S. government is virtually up for sale. - John W. Gardner


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