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Shopping Wait-er

Shopping hours are never long enough for Wilbur's wife

Shopping Wait-er thanks to Wayne Nowazek

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My wife gives good headache. - Rodney Dangerfield

The mistakes are all waiting to be made. - Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower

A man without a smiling face should not open a shop. - Chinese Proverb

Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. - Oscar Wilde

Would a lion cheat on his wife? No, but a Tiger Would. - Unknown

Being on a tightrope is living; everything else is waiting. - Karl Wallenda

My wife was too beautiful for words, but not for arguments. - John Barrymore

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield

A husband's conjungal and a wife's convivial obligation - Archie Bunker

My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects. - Les Dawson

One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. - Groucho Marx

Behind every successful man is a woman.
Behind her is his wife. - Groucho Marx

My wife and I are getting remarried. Our divorce didn't work out. - Rodney Dangerfield

I met my wife on a ferry boat, and when we landed she gave me the slip. - Groucho Marx

I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife. - Tony Curtis

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. - Rodney Dangerfield

Someone told me that each equation I included in the book would halve the sales. - Stephen Hawking

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. - Rodney Dangerfield

A son is a son till he takes him a wife, a daughter is a daughter all of her life. - Unknown

The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper. - Bertrand Russell

My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante

While waiting for a Moses to lead us into the promised land, we have forgotten how to walk. - Wendell Johnson

At the door of life, by the gate of breath, there are worse things waiting for men than death. - A.C. Swinburne The Triumph Of Time

A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. - Joey Adams

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass; it's about learning to dance in the rain. - Vivian Greene

Psychiatrist: a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. - Unknown

My wife is a real Puritan. She thinks licking the stamp on the envelope of a Valentine is foreplay. - Milton Berle

When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, "I was just whispering in her mouth". - Groucho Marx

Too often, sales reps simply regurgitate their presentations and expect to land the sale. It doesn't work. - Harvey Mackay

A wise man will never tell his wife to keep quiet. He will tell her she looks beautiful with her mouth closed. - Unknown

For twenty-four years I've been in love with the same woman. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me. - Henny Youngman

We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. - Groucho Marx

Stop waiting for the right person to come into your life. Be the right person to come into someone else's life. - Unknown

A man with a career can have no time to waste upon his wife and friends; he has to devote it wholly to his enemies. - John Hobbes

My wife simply quoted, 'For better or worse.' It was only then that I realized the phrase was not multiple-choice. - Michael Gurnow

Most people stand on the dock of life waiting for their ship to come in when deep down inside they know it has never left port. - Zig Ziglar

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle

This is a honeydew day. That is when you get a day off and the wife says, "Honey, do this," and "Honey, do that" around the house. - Jim Lemon


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