#1 humor site on the 'net

Shopping With Your Husband

Does he crimp your style at the shopping mall, ladies?

Shopping With Your Husband thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Window Shopping: Eye browsing - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Tailor Shop: Last of the big-time menders - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

Can you fix my husband? He says he's broke. - Unknown

Leanardo De Cappuccino: Founder, coffee shop chain - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. - Oscar Wilde

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker

A deaf husband and a blind wife make the best couple. - French Proverb

Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near. - Helen Rowland

Pre-Law: The major of a person who will end up in sales - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Jello: The only food your husband has ever learned to cook - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My husband is a general's chauffeur somewhere in France. - Lillie Langtry

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Milton Berle

A husband's conjungal and a wife's convivial obligation - Archie Bunker

When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. - Unknown

A good thing sells itself; a bad thing advertises itself for sale. - African Saying

I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown

I spent seven hours in a beauty shop... and that was for the estimate. - Phyllis Diller

Do you Edith....take Archie Bunker to be your lawfully bedded husband? - Archie Bunker

The most popular labor-saving device today is still a husband with money. - Joey Adams

Whoever said money can't buy happiness didn't know where to shop. - Gertrude Stein

I'm so ugly I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get. - Rodney Dangerfield

Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child. - Tina Brown

Every sale has five basic obstacles: no need, no money, no hurry, no desire, no trust. - Zig Ziglar

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek

My husband, Fang, is so dumb I once said, "There's a dead bird." He looked up. - Phyllis Diller

Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown

If Hillary Clinton can't satisfy her husband what makes her think she can satisfy America. - Donald Trump

I went to a garage sale. "How much for the garage?" "It's not for sale." - Steven Wright

I remember when the candle shop burned won. Everyone stood around singing "Happy Birthday." - Steven Wright

My husband is so good at home repairs that they have a special VIP area for him in the emergency room. - Unknown

Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they are on the same side. - Zig Ziglar

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her. - Agatha Christie

Some wish to live within the sound of church or chapel bell; I want to run a rescue shop within a yard of hell. - C.T. Studd

A husband is a guy who tells you when you’ve got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick. - Ogden Nash

I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how to make it interesting. - Milton Berle

I hate smart sales clerks. I said to one, "What do you have in lingerie?" She says, "More than you'll ever have!" - Phyllis Diller

New Pasta Diet: Just walk pasta bakery without stopping. Walk pasta candy store without stopping. Walk pasta ice cream shop without stopping. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller


Dragon Playground

Redneck Boat Ramp

Jack-A-Lope vs Jack-E-Lope

Urleen

Carry On or Carrion?

Selfie Pilot

Monarch Butterflies - Starting a Monarchy

Air Couch

Europe Road Trip

Thongthing Special

Nighttime Graffiti

Baby Formula

Kid Suction

Redneck Moving Truck

Critter Control

Lost Dog

Nail Chair

Looking For Something?

Yellow Pet

Race Break

Fuse Bypass

Good Boy

British Tea Party

Roadside Assistance