#1 humor site on the 'net

Sister DNA

Funding to uncover your heritage

Sister DNA thanks to Barry McCartney

Learn about your ancestry - is there a Neanderthal in your DNA?

QuotaBills
Something bad has befelt the family. - Archie Bunker

My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown

A happy family is but an earlier heaven. - Sir John Bowring

I would give everything if I could only keep my family. - Johnny Depp

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage. - Erma Bombeck

Some men by ancestry are only the shadow of a mighty name. - Etheridge Knight

I'm super laid back. I'm from Texas. I love my family. - Selena Gomez

Family means putting your arms around each other and being there. - Barbara Bush

Work is the least important thing and family is the most important. - Jerry Seinfeld

Falling in love and having a relationship are two different things. - Keanu Reeves

Real magic in relationships means an absence of judgment of others. - Wayne Dyer

To the world you are a mother, but to your family you are the world. - Unknown

What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family. - Mother Teresa

Family Tree: The only tree whose branches seek the shelter of its roots - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

For our immediate family and relatives, Canada was a land of opportunity. - Sidney Altman

I come from an Irish Catholic family, and hell-raising is part of the DNA. - Brian Dennehy

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance. - George Bernard Shaw

Live so you won't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip. - Will Rogers

I believe in moderation. I work on genealogy only on days that end in 'y'. - Richard Thiesen

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

He that has no fools, knaves, nor beggars in his family was begot by a flash of lightning. - Thomas Fuller

There's no road map on how to raise a family: it's always an enormous negotiation. - Meryl Streep

As a man in a relationship, you have a simple choice: You can be right or you can be happy. - Ralphie May

I'm proud of my Irish heritage and culture and this show will feature a lot of Irish dancing. - Michael Flatley

You leave home to seek your fortune and, when you get it, you go home and share it with your family. - Anita Baker

Family, religion, friendship... these are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. - Mr. Burns

There's no environment I can think of that would have remained constant enough to preserve dinosaur DNA. - Hendrik Poinar

What is a family except memories? Haphazard and precious as the contents of a catchall drawer in the kitchen. - Joyce C Oates

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. - Ogden Nash

Remember that your best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other. - Unknown

The man who has nothing to boast of but his illustrious ancestry is like the potato - the best part under ground. - Thomas Overbury

The quality of a father can be seen in the goals, dreams, and aspirations he sets not only for himself, but for his family. - Reed Markham

I'm not sure which is harder on a relationship: sharing a dresser for three years, or sharing an iPhone charger for one day. - Unknown

I pray for forgiveness. For help and guidance. To be a better person. For the health of my family. For the world to be a better place. - Tyson Fury

The family should be a place where each new human being can have an early atmosphere conducive to the development of constructive creativity. - Edith Schaeffer

I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly, that's a good thing. - Tim Allen

If you have a family mission statement that clarifies what your purpose is, then you use that as the criterion by which you make the decisions. - Stephen Covey

With the steady disintegration of the family in modern society over the last century, the role of the school in bridging the gap has become vital. - Stephen Covey

You don't develop courage by being happy in your relationships everyday. You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity. - Epicurus

Historically the family has played the primary role in educating children for life, with the school providing supplemental scaffolding to the family. - Stephen Covey


Victorian Bathing Machine

Stork Exhaust

Slap Me Into Next Year

Is This Really Happening?!

Ostrich Bush

Frozen Fish Meal

Bacon Wrapped Onion Rings

T-Rex Shadow

Camel Parking

Cheat of the Year

Born To Be Wild

Why I Wear 2 Masks

Welfare State

Redneck Wedding Cake

Blonde Gears

Party Direction Sign

House 'Broke'rage

'Piece of Cake' Resignation Letter

Bee Safe

Catfish Noodling

I'm A Believer

Sewing Sculpture

Greatest Italian Riders

Batman Recession