#1 humor site on the 'net

Sister DNA

Funding to uncover your heritage

Sister DNA thanks to Barry McCartney

Learn about your ancestry - is there a Neanderthal in your DNA?

QuotaBills
By ancestry, I was born to rule. - Nelson Mandela

Friends are the family you choose. - Jennifer Aniston

Something bad has befelt the family. - Archie Bunker

My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown

The family is the nucleus of civilization. - William Durant

Treasure your relationships, not your possessions. - Anthony J. D'Angelo

There's no such thing as fun for the whole family. - Jerry Seinfeld

I would give everything if I could only keep my family. - Johnny Depp

Some men by ancestry are only the shadow of a mighty name. - Etheridge Knight

I'm super laid back. I'm from Texas. I love my family. - Selena Gomez

Making the family a top priority will invariably bring success. - Zig Ziglar

Remember as far as anyone knows, we're a nice normal family. - Homer Simpson

I think the family was from Hungaria. (talking about Noah's Ark) - Archie Bunker

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city. - George Burns

I come from an Irish Catholic family, and hell-raising is part of the DNA. - Brian Dennehy

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. - Sharon Stone

As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. - Buddy Hackett

Want to improve your relationships? See love as a verb rather than as a feeling. - Stephen R. Covey

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap. - Fred Allen

If you're Irish, it doesn't matter where you go - you'll find family. - Victoria Smurfit

You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them. - Desmond Tutu

Your family is depending on you. No better reason to bring all your game all the time. - Grant Cardone

Love and respect are the most important aspects of parenting, and of all relationships. - Jodie Foster

Fathers should be neither seen nor heard. That is the only proper basis for family life. - Oscar Wilde

He that has no fools, knaves, nor beggars in his family was begot by a flash of lightning. - Thomas Fuller

As a man in a relationship, you have a simple choice: You can be right or you can be happy. - Ralphie May

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

I'm proud of my Irish heritage and culture and this show will feature a lot of Irish dancing. - Michael Flatley

There's a lot of baggage that comes along with our family, but it's Louis Vuitton baggage. - Kim Kardashian

I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie. - Jimmy Fallon

There's no environment I can think of that would have remained constant enough to preserve dinosaur DNA. - Hendrik Poinar

I don't think he's gonna come Edith. He just ain't got none of that, waddya call, family unconscious. - Archie Bunker

Our whole constitutional heritage rebels at the thought of giving government the power to control men's minds. - Thurgood Marshall

Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary: when her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief. - Oscar Wilde

The greatest mistake we humans make in our relationships: we listen half, understand quarter, think zero, and react double. - Unknown

It's really hard to maintain a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people. - Axl Rose

The greatest thing about man is his ability to transcend himself, his ancestry and his environment and to become what he dreams of being. - Tully C. Knoles

The family should be a place where each new human being can have an early atmosphere conducive to the development of constructive creativity. - Edith Schaeffer

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo


Wine Signs

Ring Seating

Snow Aerobics

25 Toes

Wedding Cake Dress

Bacon Soda Sales

Wet Insect

Chinese New Year Greetings

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Gun Laws

Mounted Deer Antlers

Anti-Theft Car

SUV Haircut

Two Feet of Snow in Seattle

Chevforodge

Redneck Skurfing

Golf Prayer

Warmest Wishes for a Perfect Sunday

Walking The Dog

Bobslide Event

Holy Bagel

Happy Down Under Day

In Deep Water

Lean Beer