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Smirnoff Women

We don't serve women here - you have to bring your own

Smirnoff Women thanks to Frank Howard

QuotaBills
Gin was mother's milk to her. - George Bernard Shaw

Everything's better with bacon and red wine. - Dianne Harman

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it. - George Carlin

A weeping man and a smiling woman are not to be trusted. - Indian Proverb

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks. - Steve Martin

A woman is attractive when she is somebody else's wife. - African Proverb

Some call it Cocktail Hour. To me, it's a support group. - Unknown

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. - Ambrose Bierce

What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce. - Mark Twain

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

One martini is all right, two is too many, three is not enough. - James Thurber

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

You ought to get out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini. - Mae West

Behind every successful man is a woman.
Behind her is his wife. - Groucho Marx

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. - Winston Churchill

There's two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works. - Will Rogers

No one but a woman in love ever sees the maximum of men's greatness. - Anais Nin

That woman speaks eighteen languages and can't say no in any of them. - Dorothy Parker

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea. - Honore de Balzac

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

He who has two women loses his soul. But he who has two homes loses his mind. - Ancient Proverb

This woman was so cross-eyed. She can go to a tennis match and never move her head. - Phyllis Diller

A consultant is a man who knows 147 ways to make love, but doesn't know any women. - Unknown

Women have a hard enough time in this world; telling them the truth would be too cruel. - H L Mencken

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him. - Cher

The true republic: men, their rights and nothing more; women, their rights and nothing less. - Franklin P Adams

The fantasy of every Australian man is to have two women - one cleaning and the other dusting. - Maurenn Murphy

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied. - Oscar Wilde

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

Women are never disarmed by compliments. Men always are. That is the difference between the sexes. - Oscar Wilde

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?" - Dumas

The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me. - George Bernard Shaw

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. - Hunter S Thompson

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. - Phyllis Diller

Sometimes a man just can't satisfy all of a woman's desires. Which is why God invented dental floss. - Unknown

Remember, we're fighting for this woman’s honor, which is probably far more than she's ever done! - Groucho Marx

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs. - Unknown

Men have trouble dealing with a woman in a position of authority. I've never had trouble with a woman in any position. - Sam Malone

Part of the reason that men seem so much less loving than women is that men's behavior is measured with a feminine ruler. - Francesca M. Cancian

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke

From a shy, timid girl I had become a woman of resolute character, who could no longer be frightened by the struggle with troubles. - Anna Dostoevsky

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

Now I lay facedown on the bed, sobbing for the woman who once slept here not knowing that someday one of her worst fears would come true. - Jennifer Castle

Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking. - Bill Vaughan

A beautiful woman moved in next door. So I went over and returned a cup of sugar. "You didn't borrow this." "I will." - Steven Wright

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor

Like many other women, I could not understand why every man who changed a diaper has felt impelled, in recent years, to write a book about it. - Barbara Ehrenreich


Late Lecture

Escapism

Wine Secret

It's All Mine

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Big Card Game

Sweet Chopper

Spaghetti Tree

Inglish Spikkers Welcom

Where Astronauts Hang Out

Wrap Around Tree

Take The Bus Home

Bent Car Sculpture

International Truck Bed

Strong Man

Snowbound Train

Not Without A Washer

Why Men Shouldn't Write Advice Columns

Washing Machine Cat

Ruined Bacon

Kellogg's Fire

Tip Discount

Staff Meeting

Prince Bag