#1 humor site on the 'net

Smoking Hot Body

A sign of Perspiration Inspiration

Smoking Hot Body thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
Coffee and love taste best when hot. - German Proverb

A gun gives you the body, not the bird. - Henry David Thoreau

Courage is fire, and bullying is smoke. - Benjamin Disraeli

Are my hot flashes causing Global Warming? - Unknown

Smoking cures weight problems... eventually. - Steven Wright

She caught a touch of laryngosis from the smoke. - Archie Bunker

We're gonna strike before the Ivan gets hot. - Archie Bunker

Hot flushes and mentalpause. House of ill refute. - Archie Bunker

Life without liberty is like a body without spirit. - Khalil Gibran

Smoking means always having to say you're sorry. - Tom Ferguson

If you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast. - Woody Allen

Aging wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul. - Douglas MacArthur

Dancing: The Highest Intelligence in the Freest Body. - Isadora Duncan

The only parts left of my original body are my elbows. - Phyllis Diller

I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping. - Mark Twain

When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction. - Steven Wright

Oh, that sound? I'm in the hot tub, reading a novel. - Jane Smiley

Lawyers spend a great deal of their time shoveling smoke. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Amazing women don't have hot flashes. We have power surges. - Unknown

I have the body of an eighteen-year-old. I keep it in the fridge. - Spike Milligan

Smoke detectors are basically just you-suck-at-cooking detectors. - Julius Sharpe

There is but one temple in the universe and that is the body of man. - Novalis

Would you take all these pains about your looks if every body was blind? - Charles Finney

No good work is ever done while the heart is hot and anxious and fretted. - Olive Schreiner

The colder the X-Ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it. - Steven Wright

The body is your temple. Keep it pure and clean for the soul to reside in. - B.K. Iyengar

A woman is like a teabag. Only in hot water do you realize how strong she is. - Nancy Reagan

My favorite thing about the human body is that we're all basically doughnuts. - Tyler Oakley

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams

One day my mortal body will turn to dust, but the Turkish Republic will stand forever. - Mustafa Kemel Ataturk

We have so many words for states of mind, and so few words for the states of the body. - Jeanne Moreau

A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water. - Eleanor Roosevelt

I don't smoke dope, I don't drink bourbon. All I want to do is shake my turban. - Peter Singh

It is not the body's posture, but the heart's attitude that counts when we pray. - Billy Graham

Happiness is beneficial for the body but it is grief that develops the power of the mind. - Marcel Proust

Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison

The human mind treats a new idea the way the body treats a strange protein: it rejects it. - P.B. Medawar

I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a King. - Elizabeth I

The most important pieces of equipment you need for doing yoga are your body and your mind. - Rodney Yee

Hockey players wear numbers because you can't always identify the body with dental records. - Unknown

For short term relaxation, I take a hot tub. It's my best way to unblock writer's block. - Ellen Hopkins

I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract. - Groucho Marx

My physician has become warden of my medically imprisoned body, pharmaceuticals the bars on my cell. - Grey E. Livingston

A lot of what passes for depression these days is nothing more than a body saying that it needs work. - Geoffrey Norman

He is not an honest man who has burned his tongue and does not tell the company that the soup is hot. - Yugoslav Proverb

A person will sometimes devote all his life to the development of one part of his body - the wishbone. - Robert Frost

I am a lizard, a shark, a heat-seeking panther. I want to be Bob Denver on acid playing the accordion. - Nicolas Cage

It was so hot today that Burger King was singing, 'if you want it your way, cook it yourself.' - Johnny Carson

It was really strange to see all these apes standing around eating popcorn, smoking, wearing sunglasses. - Estella Warren

In the words of Harry S. Truman, "If it's too hot in the kitchen, stay away from the cook." - Archie Bunker

An angel is a spiritual creature created by God without a body for the service of Christendom and the church. - Leo Rosten

Yoga is really trying to liberate us from shame about our bodies. To love your body is a very important thing. - Rodney Yee

Even if you don't have time for a big workout, stretching in the morning and night really changes your body. - Erin Heatherton

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer. - Clement Freud

Always serve too much hot fudge sauce on hot fudge sundaes. It makes people overjoyed, and puts them in your debt. - Judith Olney

A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history. - Mahatma Gandhi

I chalk up the fact that I got diabetes to my body saying, 'Dude, you have been doing wrong for way too long!' - Randy Jackson

A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body - let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel. - Unknown

Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul. - John Muir

My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Mason took in enough cannabis smoke to allow a Lipan Apache manipulating a blanket over it to transmit the complete works of Tennyson. - Richard Condon

When a woman puts on a heel, she has a different posture, a different attitude. She really stands up and has a consciousness of her body. - Christian Louboutin

I'm building a glass pyramid over the Egyptian escalator where my body will be mummified, so my customers can come and see me forever. - Mohamed Al-Fayed

As a rule man is a fool,
When it's hot he wants it cool,
When it's cool he wants it hot,
Always wanting what is not. - Unknown

Getting wrapped up in worries is bad for your body and spirit. That's when you must short out your logic circuits and reboot your heart. - Pokemon

Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. - Bible

Think while walking, walk while thinking, and let writing be but the light pause, as the body on a walk rests in contemplation of wide open spaces. - Frederic Gros

My mother had a slender, small body, but a large heart - a heart so large that everybody's joys found welcome in it, and hospitable accommodation. - Mark Twain


Patience and Wisdom

Submarine Racing

Dead Sea Burgers

Sick Statue

I Will Never Understand Fashion

Courtesy Option

Ab Enhancer

Family Planning Advice

Cracks Me Up

Anger Release Machine

Closing Time

Palm Sunday Social Distancing Service

Beach Breakfast

Bicycle Dining

Shark Bike

Thrilling Read

Extra Weight

Yoga's Balanced Lifestyle

Gift Shop for Stray Kids

Souped Up Car

Darth VadeHer

Submergible

Happy People

Today's Paper Read Yesterday