SUV Stagecoach

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines. - David Letterman

She died doing what she loved, taking a selfie in traffic. - Unknown

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again. - C S Lewis

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic. - Dan Rather

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by traffic from both sides. - Margaret Thatcher

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

Everything is for sale in Hollywood; the fairy tale, the costume, the pumpkin, the footman and the mice. - Amanda Eliasch

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

Every time a child says, "I don't believe in fairies," there is a little fairy somewhere that falls down dead. - Sir James M. Barrie

Audience laughter, when it's deserved, acts as a sort of fairy dust that makes funny moments not just funny, but joyous. - Graham Linehan

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

Fairy tales do not tell children the dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children the dragons can be killed. - G K Chesterton

Car Pool: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar - Daffynitions joe-ks.com