Texas Air Freshener

My favorite animal is steak. - Fran Lebowitz

Texas is as odd as it is vast. - Henry Rollins

You can always tell a Texan, but not much. - Unknown

Parts of Texas look like Kansas with a goiter. - Unknown

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins

Texas is a hotbed of insanely good bands and musicians. - Henry Rollins

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq. - Fran Lebowitz

In plain Texas talk, it's 'do the right thing'. - Ross Perot

A hot dog at the ballpark is better than a steak at the Ritz. - Humphrey Bogart

I'm super laid back. I'm from Texas. I love my family. - Selena Gomez

In Texas it's always hot, dry, sunny, not a cloud in the sky. - Piper Perabo

The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.' - Kinky Friedman

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans. - George Carlin

We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas. - Red Skelton

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

The landscape of Texas is in all my work. It's that light; it's that sky. - Robert Wilson

Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may. - Sam Houston

How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design? - Kinky Friedman

Being from Texas, I would say I favor a pair of jeans you can wear some boots with. - Jensen Ackles

I thought I knew Texas pretty well, but I had no notion of its size until I campaigned it. - Ann Richards

If a man's from Texas, he'll tell you. If he's not, why embarrass him by asking? - John Gunther

Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called 'walking.' - George W. Bush

Vegetarians are cool. All I eat are vegetarians, except for the occasional mountain lion steak. - Ted Nugent

The definition of insanity in Texas is so insane that it's impossible to be insane in Texas. - Malcolm McDowell

I'm from Texas, and one of the reasons I like Texas is because there's no one in control. - Willie Nelson

Most of my memories of Texas are of mosquitoes, watermelons, crickets, and my brother teasing me. - Robin Wright

Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented. - Molly Ivins

Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them seemed to come from Texas. - Ian Fleming

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

You can take the girl out of Texas but not the Texas out of the girl and ultimately not the girl out of Texas. - Janine Turner

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

The sky in Texas is the most amazing sky in the whole country, I think, like you can see more sky in Texas than you can see anywhere else in the world. - dina Menzel

The beef industry has contributed to more American deaths than all the wars of this century, all natural disasters, and all automobile accidents combined. - Neal Barnard

The pleasure of jogging and running is rather like that of wearing a fur coat in Texas in August: the true joy comes in being able to take the damn thing off. - Joseph Epstein

If you want to surf, move to Hawaii. If you like to shop, move to New York. If you like acting and Hollywood, move to California. But if you like college football, move to Texas. - Ricky Williams