The Art Of Politics

Diplomacy: Lying in state. - Oliver Herford

Politics makes strange red-fellows. - Will Rogers

Politics makes strange postmasters. - Kin Hubbard

Politics have no relation to morals. - Niccolo Machiavelli

Talk is cheap... except when Congress does it. - Unknown

Politics is just show business for ugly people. - Jay Leno

I'm not a politician. I've only got one face. - Brendan Behan

Self-government won't work without self-discipline. - Paul Harvey

Government always finds a need for whatever money it gets. - Ronald Reagan

Dilemma: A politician trying to save both his faces at once - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It's a terrible shame that politics has become show business. - Sydney Pollack

An honest politician is one who when he's bought stays bought. - Simon Cameron

The most important political office is that of the private citizen. - Louis D. Brandeis

Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week. - Will Rogers

University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small. - Henry Kissinger

Government of the people, by the people, and for the pursuit of happiness. - Archie Bunker

My sheer existence is like a political act to a lot of people. It's not to me. - Grimes

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you. - Will Rogers

Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented. - Molly Ivins

I must study politics and war that my sons may have the liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. - John Adams

A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have. - Thomas Jefferson

If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 5 years there'd be a shortage of sand. - Milton Friedman

I won't eat anything that has intelligent life, but I would gladly eat a network executive or a politician. - Marty Feldman

At present, our country needs women's idealism and determination, perhaps more in politics than anywhere else. - Shirley Chisholm

I have certain rules I live by. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. Nothing. Zero. - George Carlin

Politics is the only business where doing nothing other than making the other guy look bad is an acceptable outcome. - Mark Warner

In politics it is necessary either to betray one's country or the electorate. I prefer to betray the electorate. - Charles de Gaulle

I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the US Congress. - Ronald Reagan

I am sometimes a fox and sometimes a lion. The whole secret of government lies in knowing when to be the one or the other. - Napoleon Bonaparte

It is not in the nature of politics that the best men should be elected. The best men do not want to govern their fellowmen. - George MacDonald

It was revealed in a government survey published today that the Prime Minister is doing the work of two men, Laurel and Hardy. - Ronnie Corbett

In Mexico, an air-conditioner is called a "politician" because it makes a lot of noise but doesn't work very well. - Len Deighton

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams

The workers' and peasants' government proposes to all warring peoples... negotiations leading to a just, democratic peace. - Lenin

Judge: 1. A law student who marks his own examination papers; 2. A lawyer who once knew a politician; 3. A man in a trying position. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy

Our ancestors believed in magic, prayers, trickery, browbeating and bullying. I think it would be fair to sum that up as 'Irish politics'. - Flann O'Brien

Jokes of the proper kind, properly told, can do more to enlighten questions of politics, philosophy, and literature than any number of dull arguments. - Isaac Asimov