#1 humor site on the 'net

The Art Of Politics

Groucho Marx at his best

The Art Of Politics thanks to Groucho Marx

QuotaBills
Crime does not pay as well as politics. - Alfred E. Newman

In politics the middle way is none at all. - John Adams

Everybody knows politics is a contact sport. - Barrack Obama

Man is not free unless government is limited. - Ronald Reagan

All government, of course, is against liberty. - H L Mencken

Practical politics consists in ignoring facts. - Henry Brooks Adams

I never vote for anyone; I always vote against. - WC Fields

If men were angels, no government would be necessary. - James Madison

Political War: One in which everyone shoots from the lip - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. - Mark Twain

Voters don't decide issues, they decide who will decide issues. - George Will

I wish the government would put a tax on pianos for the incompetent. - Edith Sitwell

Bad politicians are sent to Washington by good people who don't vote. - William E. Simon

Vote for the man who promises least; he'll be the least disappointing. - Bernard Baruch

My sheer existence is like a political act to a lot of people. It's not to me. - Grimes

Personally, I'm against political jokes. Too often they get elected to office. - Henny Youngman

The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter. - Winston Churchill

My brother Bob doesn't want to be in government - he promised Dad he'd go straight. - John F Kennedy

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you. - Will Rogers

Democracy is very different in U.S. and A. from Kazakhstan. In America, woman can vote, but horse cannot! - Borat Sagdiyev

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. - Will Rogers

The irony of the matter is that the future generations do not have a vote. In effect, we hold their proxy. - Charles J Hitch

I don't look for much to come out of government ownership as long as we have Democrats and Republicans. - Kin Hubbard

When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, "I was just whispering in her mouth". - Groucho Marx

I won't eat anything that has intelligent life, but I would gladly eat a network executive or a politician. - Marty Feldman

Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you. - Pericles (430 B.C.)

The only security men can have for their political liberty, consists in keeping their money in their own pockets. - Lysander Spooner

Frankly, I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry. - Joseph Heller

Canada's political parties spend a few years in opposition and then govern as if it's permanent payback time. - Bob Rae

One of the reasons people hate politics is that truth is rarely a politician's objective. Election and power are. - Cal Thomas

What is politics but persuading the public to vote for this and support that and endure these for the promise of those? - Gilbert Highet

If the government was as afraid of disturbing the consumer as it is of disturbing business, this would be some democracy. - Kin Hubbard

I never considered a difference of opinion in politics, in religion, in philosophy, as cause for withdrawing from a friend. - Thomas Jefferson

When it comes to politics, I sit down on a sofa and grab some popcorn - or sometimes I crouch down in order not to get shot. - Sergey Galitsky

The most dangerous person of the world is a member of the United States Congress just home from a three-day fact-finding trip. - Johnny Isakson

Every country must be absolutely free to adopt the type of economic, political and social system that it considers convenient. - Fidel Castro

I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn't lose any voters, okay? It's, like, incredible. - Donald Trump

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home. - Winston Churchill

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy

Regarded simply as a politician, and compared with the other leading political figures of our time, how clean a smell he has managed to leave behind. - Mahatma Gandhi


Cutting Edge Delivery

Baby Scan

Redneck Mirror

Skateboard Statue

WipeOut

Turtle Truck

How To Burn Fat

Unplugged

Praying & Preying Mantis

Good Driver

Overpass Passover

Fire Starter

Sinus Remedy - How To Clear Out Your Nostrils

Auto Strap

Never Run a Red Light

Bee Safe

Hummers Only Look Tough

Tactical Texas

Defence Budget Cuts

Welfare State

No Flies On Me

Stick Family Meal

Wet Floor

Lord Of The Watch