#1 humor site on the 'net

The Original Smart Phone

First sign of KAOS in telephone technology

The Original Smart Phone thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Bumbling Maxwell Smart (Max Perry), Agent 86 for CONTROL, with help from his partner Agent 99, battles the forces of KAOS

QuotaBills
Humanity is just a virus with shoes. - Bill Hicks

Dead Ringer: A disconnected telephone - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If the phone doesn't ring it's me. - Jimmy Buffett

The wearer knows best where the shoe pinches. - Spanish Proverb

Necessity, who is the mother of our invention. - Plato

You don't have to be perfect to be brilliant. - Mark Eyre

Home is an invention on which no one has yet improved. - Ann Douglas

I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill. - Henny Youngman

You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at. - Tina Fey

I put my phone in airplane mode, but it's not flying. - Unknown

Our children are only as brilliant as we allow them to be. - Eric Micha'el Leventhal

The Internet is a telephone system that's gotten uppity. - Clifford Stoll

The one thing children wear out faster than shoes is parents. - John J. Plomp

He that waits for a dead man's shoes may long go barefoot. - French Proverb

Quarterback: What you'll never get if you misdial from a pay phone - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm no genius. I'm smart in spots but I stay around those spots. - Thomas J Watson

A bright person can always think of something better to do than housework. - Ruby Lou Barnhill

Necessity may be the mother of invention, but play is certainly the father. - Roger von Oech

Life is like looking for your phone. Most of the time it's in your hand. - Unknown

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring. - Jeff Foxworthy

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly. - Demetri Martin

A gorilla with a cellphone riding a bicycle is bound to generate some clever captions. - Steve Breen

Good marketing makes the company look smart. Great marketing makes the customer feel smart. - Joe Chernov

I walk around like everything if fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off. - Unknown

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. - Alan Dundes

The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases. - Carl Jung

E-mails are letters, after all, more lasting than phone calls, even if many of them r 2 cursory 4 u. - Anna Quindlen

If there's a bright centre to the universe, you're on the planet that it's farthest from. - Luke Skywalker

You know you're old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you're barefoot. - Phyllis Diller

You can have brilliant ideas, but if you cannot get them across, your ideas will not get you anywhere. - Lee Iacocca

Phonesia: The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Faith is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see -
But Microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency. - Emily Dickinson

What sounds to you like a big load of trashy noise... is in fact... the brilliant music of a genius... myself. - Iggy Pop

However brilliant an action may be, it should not be accounted great when it is not the result of a great purpose. - Francois de la Rochefoucauld

If we don't redouble our efforts to increase incentives for invention, this country's going to lose its edge. - Dean Kamen

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? He's a mile away and you've got his shoes. - Billy Connolly

Like a morning dream, life becomes more and more bright the longer we live, and the reason of everything appears more clear. - Jean Paul Richter

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us. - Unknown


Puzzle Makers

Fishing Dog

Twins' First Piano Lesson

Black Sheep Friday

Black Friday Scam

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Aussie Gazpacho

Too Much Turkey

Best Friend Theft

Baconurkey

Biggest Turkeys

Turkey Day Selfie

Redneck Turkey Shoot

Grandma's Beautiful Pies

Going Cold Turkey

Run, Turkey, Run

Carving The Turkey

Thanksgiving Harvest Time

Turkey Wants You To Eat Pork

Nintendo Motor

Responsible Hi-Tech Redneck

GoosePrints

Stairway Roots

I Love Thanksgiving