#1 humor site on the 'net

The Working Man

Is it just me, or does everyone seem to have a hand in my pocket?

The Working Man thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Bribery: Using money as a blindfold - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Yacht: a floating box you throw money into. - Unknown

Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

Here's the money for our patentcy (patent). - Archie Bunker

All money is tainted, tain't none of it mine. - Thomas F. McGuire

A father carries pictures where his money used to be. - Steve Martin

Print some money and give it to us for the rain forests. - Vivienne Westwood

After money in the bank, a grudge is the next best thing. - Anthony Trollope

If money is your hope for independence, you will never have it. - Henry Ford

Business? It's quite simple. It's other people's money. - Alexandre Dumas

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back. - Oscar Wilde

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

The most popular labor-saving device today is still a husband with money. - Joey Adams

I am fiercely loyal to those willing to put their money where my mouth is. - Paul Harvey

Money can't buy happiness, but it helps you look for it in more places. - Milton Berle

After I make a lot of money, I'll be able to afford running for office. - Christy Romano

I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock. - Henny Youngman

Most stress is caused by people who overestimate the importance of their problems. - Michael LeBoeuf

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more. (Friend or Money!) - Unknown

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to. - Dorothy Parker

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams

Money can't buy you happiness? Well, check this out: I bought myself a happy meal. - Paul F Taylor

Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money. - Jackie Mason

He's so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front. - Milton Berle

If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to. - Alexander Pope

Permit me to issue and control the money of a nation, and I care not who makes its laws. - Mayer A. Rothschild

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

Half the money I spend on advertising is wasted; the trouble is, I don't know which half. - John Wannamaker

I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me his watch. - Woody Allen

Bathtubs are the epitome of luxury. Either you have no money to own one or you have no time to use one. - Akilnathan Logeswaran

All right, let's not panic. I'll make the money by selling one of my livers. I can get by with one. - Homer Simpson

Why does not the Pope build St. Peter's with his own money, rather than with the money of poor believers? - Martin Luther

I don't make deals for the money. I've got enough, much more than I'll ever need. I do it to do it. - Donald Trump

Keeping books on social aid is capitalistic nonsense. I just use the money for the poor. I can't stop to count it. - Evita Peron

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. - Voltaire

There are lots of things in life that money won't buy, but it's very funny - have you ever tried to buy them without money? - Ogden Nash

Kindness is the connection that links us all together and strengthens the bonds within our communities, neighborhoods, and families. - Rosalynn Carter

Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy. - Amy Alcott

Money doesn't change men, it merely unmasks them. If a man is naturally selfish, or arrogant, or greedy, the money brings that out. - Henry Ford

To be a champion, you have to learn to handle stress and pressure. But if you've prepared mentally and physically, you don't have to worry. - Harvey Mackay


African Airstrip

Horsepower vs Torque

Filling Up Is OverRated

Flywood

Ukraine Aid

Handicap Motorcyclist

Auto Warranty: New Extend-ed Coverage

Messerschmitt

UNinvolved

Plane Oops!

Manitoba Home Security System

Outdoor Pool

Working From Home

Snowbound Train

Smirnoff Women

Redneck Dent Repair

Cocktail Shirt

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Boy George or Boy Gorge?

Tall Guy Bike

Lord Voldemort Rock

Illusionary

Copperhead Tree

Dream Big