#1 humor site on the 'net

Thirst Place

The thirst is real

Thirst Place thanks to Anna Travika

QuotaBills
But first, donuts. - Unknown

Adversity is the first path to truth. - Lord Byron

Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first. - Ernestine Ulmer

Wherever you stand, be the soul of that place. - Rumi

The best place to cry is on a mother's arms. - Jodi Picoult

When I first found out I had diabetes I denied it. - Nell Carter

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. - Steven Wright

First law on holes - when you're in one, stop digging. - Denis Healey

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it. - Joan Rivers

The first man gets the oyster, the second man gets the shell. - Andrew Carnegie

Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue. - Virginia Woolf

What counts in science is to be not so much the first as the last. - Erwin Chargaff

Do the hard jobs first. The easy jobs will take care of themselves. - Dale Carnegie

A filing cabinet is a place where you can lose things systematically. - T.H. Thompson

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. - Steven Wright

The first lesson a revolutionary must learn is that he is a doomed man. - Huey P. Newton

Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn. - Harriet Beecher Stowe

Honesty is not only the first step toward greatness, it is greatness itself. - Christian Nestell Bovee

What is human life? The first third a good time; the rest remembering about it. - Mark Twain

You can break that big plan into small steps and take the first step right away. - Indira Gandhi

Let him who would be moved to convince others, be first moved to convince himself. - Thomas Carlyle

Those who make the worst use of their time are the first to complain of its brevity. - Jean de la Bruyere

The first rule is not to lose money. The second rule is not to forget the first rule. - Warren Buffet

The one thing I do not want to be called is First Lady. It sounds like a saddle horse. - Jacqueline Kennedy

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it. - Bob Hope

The first time I tried organic wheat bread, I thought I was chewing on roofing material. - Robin Williams

Earth's the right place for love: I don’t know where it's likely to go better. - Robert Frost

To disagree with three-fourths of the British public is one of the first requisites of sanity. - Oscar Wilde

Italy, and the spring and first love all together should suffice to make the gloomiest person happy. - Bertrand Russell

To do good things in the world, first you must know who you are and what gives meaning to your life. - Robert Browning

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. - Mark Twain

For the first time, I hand-picked an 'Apprentice' cast, and I'm thrilled with the results. - Donald Trump

The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet. - Frederick Buechner

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell

The best and cheapest dentistry is when the right thing is done extremely well the first time and it lasts. - Unknown

It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term. - Mark Twain

I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out. - Dolly Parton

What's the first excellence in a lawyer? Tautology. What's the second? Tautology. What's the third? Tautology. - Richard Steele

Two may talk together under the same roof for many years, yet never really meet; and two others at first speech are old friends. - Mary Catherwood

Not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. - George Sala


Drama Queen Diary

He Looks Just Like His Father!

Happy Snow Car

Sand Strap Experience

Redneck Calf Feeder

BaCoN T-Shirt

Go Winterized

Car Igloo

Hen Pecked

It's Movie Time

In The Dog House

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Diaper Change

Palestinian Security Check

Wurst-Case Scenario

High-Rise Inifinity Pool

Winter Kayaking

Balanced Family Life

Closed Ahead

Forgettable Fishing Trips

I've Got Your Back

Dr Pepper Financing

Wine Therapy

Weakest Part