This Cracks Me Up

Revenge is a dish best served cold. - Italian Proverb

Better a broken promise than none at all. - Mark Twain

God is closest to those with broken hearts. - Jewish Proverb

When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge. - Unknown

God gives the nuts, but He does not crack them. - German proverb

We're just sweeping dirty dishes under the rug. - Archie Bunker

The violets in the mountains have broken the rocks. - Tennessee Williams

I'd rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a tin. - Gwyneth Paltrow

A heart can be broken, but it will keep beating just the same. - Fanny Flagg

It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. - Frederick Douglass

There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen

Blessed are the hearts that can bend; they shall never be broken. - Albert Camus

Cooking certain dishes, like roast pork, reminds me of my mother. - Maya Angelou

There isn't a record in existence that hasn't been broken. - Chay Blyth

It is a symbol of Irish art. The cracked looking-glass of a servant. - James Joyce

Old statisticians never die, they are just broken down by age and sex. - Unknown

The world is an oyster, but you don't crack it open on a mattress. - Arthur Miller

The best time for planning a book is while you're doing the dishes. - Agatha Christie

The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places. - Ernest Hemingway

Chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken. - Warren Buffet

Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass. - Anton Chekhov

Poetry spills from the cracks of a broken heart, but flows from one which is loved. - Christopher P. Rubero

Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly. - Lanston Hughes

Everyone wants to eat at the government's table, but nobody wants to do the dishes. - Werner Finck

I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it's only because I struggle with math. - Tina Fey

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

The promise given was a necessity of the past: the word broken is a necessity of the present. - Niccolo Machiavelli

A broken heart is a very pleasant complaint for a man in London if he has a comfortable income. - George Bernard Shaw

The discovery of a new dish does more for the happiness of mankind than the discovery of a star. - Jean Brillat-Savarin

For my part, I prefer my heart to be broken. It is so lovely, dawn-kaleidoscopic within the crack. - D.H. Lawrence

He cared less, so they cared more. He said it was beautiful. I knew he was broken.This was his game. - Coco J. Ginger

One day someone is going to hug you so tight that all of your broken pieces will stick back together. - Unknown

Happy the man who has broken the chains which hurt the mind, and has given up worrying, once and for all. - Ovid

You go to a psychiatrist when you're slightly cracked and keep going until you're completely cracked. - Unknown

I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again. - Joan Rivers

A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken. - James Dent

People can say what they like about the eternal verities, love and truth and so on, but nothing's as eternal as the dishes. - Margaret Mahy

A reputation, once damaged, may possibly be repaired, but the world will always keep their eyes on the spot where the crack was. - Joseph Hall

Worrying is less work than doing something to fix the worry. Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom with the dishes. - P.J. O'Rourke

One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody's satellite dish. My dreams were showing up on TV's all over the world. - Steven Wright