This Cracks Me Up

Wise Crack: A comedian with a PHD - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Sharp are the arrows of a broken heart. - Cassandra Clare

The heart will break, but broken live on. - Lord Byron

When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge. - Unknown

Love is a place for your heart to get broken. - Hector Schiller

The violets in the mountains have broken the rocks. - Tennessee Williams

I'd rather have a broken arm than a broken heart. - Christie Brinkley

I just love Chinese food. My favorite dish is number 27. - Clement Attlee

A single arrow is easily broken, but not ten in a bundle. - Japanese Proverb

Necrophilia: The uncontrollable urge to crack open a cold one - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen

Blessed are the hearts that can bend; they shall never be broken. - Albert Camus

There isn't a record in existence that hasn't been broken. - Chay Blyth

It is a symbol of Irish art. The cracked looking-glass of a servant. - James Joyce

All you need to grow fine, vigorous grass is a crack in your sidewalk. - Will Rogers

Old statisticians never die, they are just broken down by age and sex. - Unknown

The world is an oyster, but you don't crack it open on a mattress. - Arthur Miller

Hod: (Southern) Not easy. Usage: 'A broken hot is hod to fix.' - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It's hard asking someone with a broken heart to fall in love again. - Eric Kripke

Chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken. - Warren Buffett

Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass. - Anton Chekhov

No matter how bad your heart is broken, the world doesn't stop for your grief. - Faraaz Kazi

Birds with broken wings walking on the ground were once flying high up in the sky. - Mehmet M Ildan

Everyone wants to eat at the government's table, but nobody wants to do the dishes. - Werner Finck

I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it's only because I struggle with math. - Tina Fey

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Only time can heal your broken heart. Just as only time can heal his broken arms and legs. - Miss Piggy

Every time your heart is broken, a doorway cracks open to a world full of new opportunities. - Patti Roberts

The discovery of a new dish does more for the happiness of mankind than the discovery of a star. - Jean Brillat-Savarin

I don't know why they call it heartbreak. It feels like every part of my body is broken too. - Unknown

He cared less, so they cared more. He said it was beautiful. I knew he was broken.This was his game. - Coco J. Ginger

Success without honor is an unseasoned dish; it will satisfy your hunger, but it won't taste good. - Joe Paterno

Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain

I would like to thank Tetris for providing me with the skills to jam as many dishes as possibly into my dishwasher. - Herb Pankratz

People can say what they like about the eternal verities, love and truth and so on, but nothing's as eternal as the dishes. - Margaret Mahy

A reputation, once damaged, may possibly be repaired, but the world will always keep their eyes on the spot where the crack was. - Joseph Hall

When your heart is broken, your boats are burned: nothing matters any more. It is the end of happiness and the beginning of peace. - George Bernard Shaw

Worrying is less work than doing something to fix the worry. Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom with the dishes. - P.J. O'Rourke

Forgiveness is the answer to the child's dream of a miracle by which what is broken is made whole again, what is soiled is made clean again. - Dag Hammarskjold

Many promising reconciliations have broken down because while both parties come prepared to forgive, neither party come prepared to be forgiven. - Charles Williams