Tire Substitute

Fjord: Norwegian car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There is no substitute for the Bible. - Henry Halley

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

Spare Tire: The one you check after you have a flat - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A shop should be like a song of which you never tire. - Harry Gordon Selfridge

Neurosis is always a substitute for legitimate suffering. - Carl Jung

Bedside manners are no substitute for the right diagnosis. - Alfred P. Sloan, Jr.

The beaten path is the safest, but the traffic's terrible. - Jeff Taylor

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. - Frederick Douglass

You can't be emotional in business, it can flat out kill you. - Donald Trump

The shortest distance between two points is usually under repair. - Unknown

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week. - Will Rogers

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

You can buy anything on eBay. I bought the world's oldest globe. It's flat. - Buzz Nutley

Abdicate: 1. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach; 2. Strenuous labour. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, a touch that never hurts. - Charles Dickens

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

It's easier to build up a child than it is to repair an adult. Choose your words wisely. - Unknown

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

HonkoSecond: The time between the light turning green and the sound from the car horn behind you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

My husband is so good at home repairs that they have a special VIP area for him in the emergency room. - Unknown

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant - and let the air out of the tires. - Dorothy Parker

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

When you're stretching yourself, as a role like 'Blue Jasmine' did for me, you risk falling flat on your face. - Cate Blanchett

Be decisive. Right or wrong, make a decision. The road of life is paved with flat squirrels who couldn't make a decision. - Unknown

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz