#1 humor site on the 'net

Tire Substitute

Rolling Stock - full-time service for a temporary spare

Tire Substitute thanks to Keith Blake

She'll roll, Ricky - just take it easy to the trailer park

QuotaBills
Afford: Popular type of car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Life is too short for traffic. - Dan Bellack

Khaki: A thing for starting a car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There is no substitute for victory. - Douglas MacArthur

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

A public-opinion poll is no substitute for thought. - Warren Buffett

The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes. - Brian Mullin

The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining. - John F Kennedy

The Flat Earth Society has members all around the globe. - Unknown

A rabbit's foot is a poor substitute for horse sense. - Unknown

Neurosis is always a substitute for legitimate suffering. - Carl Jung

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

The shortest distance between two points is usually under repair. - Unknown

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week. - Will Rogers

Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic. - Dan Rather

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

Hope is only a beginning; it's not a substitute for action, only a basis for it. - Rebecca Solnit

Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, a touch that never hurts. - Charles Dickens

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

I may be a living legend, but that sure don't help when I've got to change a tire. - Roy Orbison

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

Advertising is the modern substitute for argument; its function is to make the worse appear the better. - George Santayana

The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant - and let the air out of the tires. - Dorothy Parker

The average auto owner drives so blamed reckless I'm glad that he does git robbed when he pays a repair bill. - Kin Hubbard

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

When you're stretching yourself, as a role like 'Blue Jasmine' did for me, you risk falling flat on your face. - Cate Blanchett

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

We make decisions based on what we think we know. It wasn't too long ago that the majority of people believed the world was flat. - Simon Sinek

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt


Vatican Chess

Pentecost Sunday

Nun Chairs - Great Looking Legs

Organ Donor

Moldy Bible

Gyprock Prayer

Barn Art

Submarine Tea

NAACP Cover Up

Quad Shot

Princess Parking

Restaurant Wait-er

How Much Is That Doggie In The Window?

Butterfly Lens

Pike Mouth Nest

Improvise, Adapt, Overcome

Flower Lips

Bird Walker

Never Go Full Retard

Multi-Pilot Jet

Teethbrushes

Dinner Preparation: Here's looking at you!

Picture Perfect

Same Mistake Twice