#1 humor site on the 'net

Tire Substitute

Rolling Stock - full-time service for a temporary spare

Tire Substitute thanks to Keith Blake

She'll roll, Ricky - just take it easy to the trailer park

QuotaBills
There is no substitute for victory. - Douglas MacArthur

A meeting is no substitute for progress. - Unknown

Statistics are no substitute for judgement. - Henry Clay

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

A public-opinion poll is no substitute for thought. - Warren Buffett

The Flat Earth Society has members all around the globe. - Unknown

The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit. - W Somerset Maugham

A rabbit's foot is a poor substitute for horse sense. - Unknown

Neurosis is always a substitute for legitimate suffering. - Carl Jung

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

The beaten path is the safest, but the traffic's terrible. - Jeff Taylor

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week. - Will Rogers

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

Nothing encourages creativity like the chance to fall flat on one's face. - James D Finley

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

My husband is so good at home repairs that they have a special VIP area for him in the emergency room. - Unknown

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

Advertising is the modern substitute for argument; its function is to make the worse appear the better. - George Santayana

It's much easier to double your business by doubling your conversion rate than doubling your traffic. - Bryan Eisenberg

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

Be decisive. Right or wrong, make a decision. The road of life is paved with flat squirrels who couldn't make a decision. - Unknown

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

We make decisions based on what we think we know. It wasn't too long ago that the majority of people believed the world was flat. - Simon Sinek


Microsoft Innovation

Complaint Jar

First Selfie

Leave My Drink Alone

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Great Scott!

Golden End of the Rainbow

Big Blade Snow Plow

Emergency Bridge Repair Team

A Fish Called Wanda - Uncut Version

Boat Launch

Redneck Motorcycle Transport

Denver Booted

Little Drinking Problem

Roller Coaster Skiing

Youth Walk

Horn Blower

Rembrandt's Anatomy Lessons

Aye Matey

Rice Litter Box

Middle Column?

Yoga in Palm Springs

Redneck Outhouse

This Cracks Me Up