Trillion Dollar Man

Marry money. - Max Shulman

God gave me my money. - John D. Rockefeller

No gold, no Holy Ghost. - Samuel Butler

Money is the best cosmetic. - International Proverb

The love of evil is the root of all money. - American Proverb

Life is a game. Money is how we keep score. - Ted Turner

Don't marry for money; divorce for money. - Wendy Liebman

I bought a million lottery tickets. I won a dollar. - Steven Wright

The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity. - Unknown

The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart. - WC Fields

Why is there so much month left at the end of the money? - Unknown

Being rich is having money, being wealthy is having time. - Stephen Swid

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? - George Carlin

We have the best government in the world... that money can buy. - Mark Twain

When it is a matter of money, all men are of the same religion. - Voltaire

I spent all my money on a FAX machine. Now I can only FAX collect. - Steven Wright

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back. - Oscar Wilde

One dollar for eternal happiness? I'd be happier with the dollar. - Charles Montgomery Burns

Old houses mended, cost little less than new before they're ended. - Colley Cibber

I can remember way back when a liberal was generous with his own money. - Will Rogers

I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock. - Henny Youngman

There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto. - Phyllis Diller

The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket. - Kin Hubbard

Enthusiasm is the greatest asset in the world. It beats money and power and influence. - Henry Chester

The principal benefit acting has afforded me is the money to pay for my psychoanalysis. - Marlon Brando

Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money. - Jackie Mason

Writing is the only profession where no one considers you ridiculous if you earn no money. - Jules Renard

Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown

Valentine's Day money-saving tip: Break up on February 13th, get back together on the 15th. - David Letterman

Keep your eye out for hot topics and trends. The media is constantly looking for timely stories. - Jim Kukral

Gonna be incrimated... they're gonna keep the ashes around the house in one of them silver urinals. - Archie Bunker

When I was young, I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old, I know it is. - Oscar Wilde

Liking the Leafs is like having molten gold poured into your face. It's gold, but it's burning your face off. - Sean Cullen

Keeping books on social aid is capitalistic nonsense. I just use the money for the poor. I can't stop to count it. - Evita Peron

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. - Voltaire

I deal with foreign countries. I made a lot of money dealing against China. I've made a lot of money dealing against many other countries. - Donald Trump

A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm. - Bill Vaughan

If you have more money than brains, you should focus on outbound marketing. If you have more brains than money, you should focus on inbound marketing. - Guy Kawasaki