Twelve Doctors Screaming

Nurses are I.V. leaguers. - Unknown

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

Nurses are the heart of healthcare. - Donna Wilk Cardillo

A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb

Nurses are angels in comfortable shoes. - Unknown

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

Fashion saves a lot more lives than doctors. - Bruno Gehard

The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

Opportunity does not knock. It presents itself when you beat down the door. - Kyle Chandler

Those gifts are ever the most acceptable which the giver has made precious. - Ovid

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? - George Carlin

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: I wish no gifts, only presence. - Unknown

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau

We are each given a limitless capacity to love and attain wisdom. The extent we use these gifts is our choice. - Anthony Douglas

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer