Twelve Doctors Screaming

A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

The doctors X-rayed my head an found nothing. - Dizzy Dean

Rich gifts wax poor when givers prove unkind. - William Shakespeare

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

Nursing would be a dream job if there were no doctors. - Gerhard Kocher

Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb

Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown

Nurses dispense comfort, compassion, and caring without even a prescription. - Val Saintsbury

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? - George Carlin

What clinical lectures I will give in heaven, demonstrating the ignorance of doctors! - Israel Zangwill

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Bound by paperwork, short on hands, sleep, and energy... nurses are rarely short on caring. - Sharon Hudacek

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: I wish no gifts, only presence. - Unknown

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

We are all born with a grab bag on gifts and gaps. Identify your true talents, then find out how to use them to make money. - Bill O'Reilly

It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins

Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too. - Anton Chekhov

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Francis Bacon