Twelve Doctors Screaming

Nurses are I.V. leaguers. - Unknown

Nurses are patient people. - Unknown

Nurses are the heart of healthcare. - Donna Wilk Cardillo

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

Fashion saves a lot more lives than doctors. - Bruno Gehard

Why do the best doctors have the sickest patients? - Unknown

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue. - Virginia Woolf

Doctors think a lot of patients are cured who have simply quit in disgust. - Don Herold

Nurses dispense comfort, compassion, and caring without even a prescription. - Val Saintsbury

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

What clinical lectures I will give in heaven, demonstrating the ignorance of doctors! - Israel Zangwill

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: I wish no gifts, only presence. - Unknown

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

We are each given a limitless capacity to love and attain wisdom. The extent we use these gifts is our choice. - Anthony Douglas

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Francis Bacon