#1 humor site on the 'net

Upended Water Buffalo

Hiding downstream from Serengeti predators

Upended Water Buffalo thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
The buffalo is a surprisingly stupid animal. - Ellsworth Huntington

Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver. - WC Fields

Maybe she's a spaghetti girl... straight until wet. - Jodi Lerner

People run from rain but sit in bathtubs full of water. - Charles Bukowski

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed. - Josh Billings

Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water. - WC Fields

The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears or the sea. - Isak Dinesen

A people without history is like the wind on the buffalo grass. - Lakota Sioux Proverb

If one cannot catch the bird of paradise, better take a wet hen. - Nikita Krushchev

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. - English Proverb

You ought to get out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini. - Mae West

If his IQ slips any lower, we'll have to water him twice a day. - Molly Ivins

I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it. - Steven Wright

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

An entire ocean can't sink a ship unless it allows the water inside. - Donna Smith

You don't drown by falling into water. You only drown if you stay there. - Zig Ziglar

Don't throw away the old bucket until you know whether the new one holds water. - Swedish Proverb

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force. - Dorothy Parker

Start writing, no matter what. The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on. - Louis L'Amour

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

Though so trifling, the success of our first Buffalo hunt gave us quite a social lift. - Ernest T. Seton

When ya go out there in the water and ya start crossing your longirudes and lassitudes. - Archie Bunker

The dignity of movement of an iceberg is due to only one ninth of it being above water. - Ernest Hemingway

The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth. - Chinese Proverb

I know it is wet and the sun is not sunny, but we can have lots of good fun that is funny. - Dr. Seuss

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. - Unknown

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

Few Indians only had breech cloths, most being wrapped in buffalo robes, otherwise quite naked. - Zebulon Pike

Most whale photos you see show whales in this beautiful blue water - it's almost like space. - Brian Skerry

Whatever I am offered in devotion with a pure heart - a leaf, a flower, fruit, or water - I accept with joy. - Bhagavad Gita

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

Be like a duck, paddling and working very hard inside the water, but what everyone sees is a smiling and calm face. - Manoj Arora

Economies of scale are a good thing. If we didn't have them, we'd still be living in tents and eating buffalo. - Jamie Dimon

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

From a drop of water a logician could infer the possibility of an Atlantic or a Niagara without having seen or heard of one or the other. - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. - Leonardo da Vinci

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep. - Will Rogers

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson


Two Of Each

Napoleon

Tomorrow

You Turn

ThaiTanic

The Future of Social Media

Sunday Service Social Distancing

Tartan Headphones

Husband Quarantine

Aussie Salad

Greta on Chopsticks

Darkness Eliminator

Don't Touch Your Face

Pet Dentist

Falcon Resting in a Tree

Wine Day

Fishnet Table

Sink Lynx

No Swimming

Going Up

The Honey Truck

Flying is so Overrated

Wear Fur Without Killing Animals

Nutella Soother