#1 humor site on the 'net

Webster's First Dictionary

And what's that supposed to mean?

Webster's First Dictionary thanks to Emery Pettigrove

How to get along with your wife

QuotaBills
The woman that deliberates is lost. - Joseph Addison

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - James Thurber

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

Women in London must have learned not to breathe. - Irene Trimble

Getting married is an incredible act of hopefulness. - Ashley Judd

I am a strong woman because a strong woman raised me. - Unknown

Man can not live on chocolate alone.... but women can. - Unknown

I like men who have a future and women who have a past. - Oscar Wilde

When the devil finds a lazy woman, he puts her to work. - Russian Proverb

Women like silent men, they think they're listening. - George Carlin

He has a woman's name and wears makeup. How original. - Alice Cooper

The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde

Hand Scanner: Singles bar prowler looking for wedding rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday. - Rodney Dangerfield

A man's home is his castle, and his wife is the janitor. - Lucille Kallen

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Rodney Dangerfield

A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears. - Woodrow Wyatt

Amazing women don't have hot flashes. We have power surges. - Unknown

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. - Unknown

Marriage requires a special talent like acting. Monogamy requires genius. - Warren Beatty

Between man and woman there is little difference, but vive la difference. - French Proverb

No woman should ever be quite accurate about her age. It looks so calculating. - Oscar Wilde

Here's to strong women. May we know them. May we be them. May we raise them. - Unknown

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. - Rodney Dangerfield

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate. - Phyllis Diller

To my eye, women get sexier around 35. They know a thing or two, and knowledge is always alluring. - Pierce Brosnan

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

The next woman who gets hold of me is gonna light up like a pinball machine and pay off in silver dollars. - Jack Nicholson

The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. - Ogden Nash

Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing. A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang Goethe

We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. - Groucho Marx

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about. - Oscar Wilde

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom. - Jerry Seinfeld

I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine. - Milton Berle

From a shy, timid girl I had become a woman of resolute character, who could no longer be frightened by the struggle with troubles. - Anna Dostoevsky

I have frequently been questioned, especially by women, of how I could reconcile family life with a scientific career. Well, it has not been easy. - Marie Curie

This is a honeydew day. That is when you get a day off and the wife says, "Honey, do this," and "Honey, do that" around the house. - Jim Lemon


Moon Descent

Redneck Selfie Stick

1957 Woolworth Menu

Cops Beating A Black Man in NYC

The New Norm

Police Car Of The Year

If You're Looking For A Sign

Upside Down Amusement

Bread Zeppelin

Special Second Meal

Perfect Grill

Heat Expands

Drink, Don't Drive!

Hawaiian Surfboard Trade

Chicago Politics

BigFoot Caught On Tape

Bookstore Entrance

Computer Detergent

Covid-Friendly Smoker Hood

Ethiopian Math

Batman Equation

a real Bald Eagle

The Meaning Of Life

Back To The Fuchsia