#1 humor site on the 'net

Wet Floor Suspect

Be careful when stepping on the floor she just mopped

Wet Floor Suspect thanks to Emery Pettigrove

QuotaBills
Police do not belong in war zones. - Daniel K Moran

Not failure, but low aim, is crime. - J. R. Lowell

A friend to honesty and a foe to crime. - Allan Pinkerton

Poverty is the parent of revolution and crime. - Aristotle

Obviously crime pays, or there'd be no crime. - G. Gordon Liddy

Is it a bigger crime to rob a bank or to open one? - Ted Allan

The police are recruited from the criminal classes. - Gore Vidal

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. - George Bernard Shaw

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

It is a lot harder now to be a police officer than what it used to be. - Steven Seagal

The world's second-most crime is boredom; the first is being a bore. - Cecil Beaton

When some folks agree with my opinions I begin to suspect I'm wrong. - Kin Hubbard

My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music. - Vladimir Nabokov

Sleeping is my drug; my bed is my dealer; and my alarm clock is the police. - Unknown

The police force cannot be completely independent of the executive government. - P Chidambaram

Outside of the killings, D.C. has one of the lowest crime rates in the country. - Marion Barry

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

Who ever hears of fat men heading a riot, or herding together in turbulent mobs? - Washington Irving

Tabloid: 1. A newspaper with a permanent crime wave; 2. A screamlined newspaper. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Never think that war, no matter how necessary, nor how justified, is not a crime. - Ernest Hemingway

It's a proven fact that capital punishment is a well-known detergent to crime. - Archie Bunker

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

I took a physical for some life insurance. All they would give me was fire and theft. - Milton Berle

Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you haven't committed. - Anthony Powell

Blind commitment to a theory is not an intellectual virtue: it is an intellectual crime. - Imre Lakatos

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate. - Phyllis Diller

The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything. - Oscar Wilde

When a man commits the same crime twice, and is not punished, it seems to him permissible. - Talmud

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

The police feel that most of the public are against them and that there is a lot of bad feeling. - Peter James

Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson

We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business. - Will Rogers

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. - Kin Hubbard

Many commit the same crime with very different results. One bears a cross for his crime, the other a crown. - Juvenal

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

The true identity theft is not financial. It's not in cyberspace. It's spiritual. It's been taken. - Stephen Covey

The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up. - Jay Leno

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

When you have police officers who abuse citizens, you erode public confidence in law enforcement. That makes the job of good police officers unsafe. - Mary F Berry


Calory Bomb

Interuption Charge

Reach For Your Dreams

Perception

Jeopardy Measuring Cup

All We Have To Do Is Stand Up

Vacuum Extender

BrownEes

Chinese Puzzle Car

Always Give 100% At Work

Ancient Politician

My Toaster Is Broken

Shining Stars

Tunnel Face

The Bugs Are Bad This Year

Dog Spa

Ostrich Imprint

Local Crabs

World's First Hard Hat

Bird Melons

Bag Hang-Up

LippoPotumus

Haircut For Staff Meetings

Wolf Mode