#1 humor site on the 'net

What Women Hear

Is what you meant or what you said wrong?

What Women Hear thanks to Howard Chapman

QuotaBills
Women Liberteens - Archie Bunker

Woman was God's second mistake. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Death ends a life, not a relationship. - Jack Lemmon

I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. - Jim Carrey

A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain. - WC Fields

Certain women should be struck regularly, like gongs. - Noel Coward

I am a strong woman because a strong woman raised me. - Unknown

Deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance. - Oscar Wilde

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another. - H L Mencken

A great city is that which has the greatest men and women. - Walt Whitman

I think if I were a woman I'd wear coffee as a perfume. - John Van Druten

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

Her mother was a cultivated woman - she was born in a greenhouse. - Spike Milligan

That woman is liable to come at you like a Doberman's Pincher. - Archie Bunker

Most women are afraid of clowns, but somehow end up still dating one. - Unknown

When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands. - H L Mencken

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. - Unknown

Show me a woman who doesn't feel guilty and I'll show you a man. - Erica Jong

Blessed be Thou, our God and Lord of Hosts, who has not created me a woman. - Jewish Prayer

If women can be railroad workers in Russia, why can't they fly in space? - Valentina Tereshkova

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby. - Natalie Wood

I love romance. I'm a sucker for it. I love it so much. It's pathetic. - Drew Barrymore

Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other. - Erma Bombeck

Character is the result of two things: Mental attitude and the way we spend our time. - Elbert Green Hubbard

Be your character what it will, it will be known, and nobody will take it upon your word. - Lord Chesterfield

Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance. - Oscar Wilde

I am on your Walk of Fame in Toronto. My sense of humour is Canadian. But I can't vote. - Donald Sutherland

It is easier for a woman to defend her virtue against men than her reputation against women. - French Proverb

Looking at how successful all the Kardashian women are, I don't blame Bruce Jenner at all. - Trevor Noah

The next woman who gets hold of me is gonna light up like a pinball machine and pay off in silver dollars. - Jack Nicholson

No woman is worth more than a fiver unless you're in love with her. Then she is worth all she costs you. - W Somerset Maugham

I see when men love women. They give them but a little of their lives. But women when they love give everything. - Oscar Wilde

A dinosaur out of context is like a character without a story. Worse than that, the character suffers from amnesia. - Jack Horner

I like the West. That's where men are men and women are women, and it's hard to beat a combination like that. - Milton Berle

True faith rests upon the character of God and asks no further proof than the moral perfections of the One who cannot lie. - A.W. Tozer

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto

I love writing for women. The willingness to go from laughter to tears in a moment is the greatest palette you can paint with as a writer. - Michael P King

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to "the best woman a man ever had." The waiter joined me. - Rodney Dangerfield

Perhaps women have always been in closer contact with reality than men: it would seem to be the just recompense for being deprived of idealism. - Germaine Greer


Bright Bookshelf

Saddle Surprise

Politicians Be Like

Senior Aerobics

Foiled Again

Redneck Beer Hunter

Pair Produce

Potting Pot

Ice Cream Burqa

Dog Soother

Fourk

Women's Outhouse

Crocodile Floor

Hummer Carriage

Antler Switch Plate

Redneck Cotter Pin

Redneck Bulldozer

Your Fly Is Down

Chili Rub

Tire Rotation

Political Promise Hauler

Steering Wheel For Couples

Confined By Walls

Moon Descent