#1 humor site on the 'net

Wild Game Nutrition Guide

Bubba had a tough time finding those squirrel calories

Wild Game Nutrition Guide thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Calory counts for bass, deer, ducks, elk and squirrels

QuotaBills
Deer hunters will do anything for a buck. - Unknown

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands. - Unknown

My diet is like Atkins, but with the carbs. - BJ Penn

Fame is a fickle food upon a shifting plate. - Emily Dickinson

A squirrel is just a rat with a cuter outfit. - Sarah J. Parker

Food is an important part of a balanced diet. - Fran Lebowitz

There is no love sincerer than the love of food. - George Bernard Shaw

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may diet. - Unknown

Laughter is brightest in the place where the food is. - Irish Proverb

A balanced diet is a Cracker Jack cookie in each hand. - Joe-kster

The universe is not a machine; it is an organic whole. - Ravi Zacharias

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. - Erma Bombeck

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? - George Carlin

Before eating, always take a little time to thank the food. - Arapaho Proverb

I think about food literally all day every day. It's a thing. - Taylor Swift

I was so drunk, I thought a tube of toothpaste was astronaut food. - Will Ferell

I won't be impressed with technology until I can download food. - Unknown

A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch. - James Beard

Your food is close to your stomach, but you must put it in your mouth first. - African Saying

Not the cry, but the flight of a wild duck, leads the flock to fly and follow. - Chinese Proverb

What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore

When I get a little money, I buy books. If any is left, I buy food and clothes. - Erasmus

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

I'm a Catholic deer hunter. I am happy to be clinging to my guns and my religion. - Paul Ryan

He who waits for a roast duck to fly into his mouth must wait a very, very long time. - Chinese Proverb

An old timer is one who remembers when we counted our blessings instead of our calories. - Unknown

I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants. - A. Whitney Brown

If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world. - JRR Tolkien

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. - Garrison Keillor

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. - Mae West

Food: The response Mom usually gives in answer to the question, "What's for dinner tonight?" - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

I like simple food, seasoned with just salt, pepper, oil and vinegar. Complicated food and complicated lives are never good. - Sirio Maccioni

The English eat all sorts of birds - pigeons, ducks, sparrows - but if you tell them you eat puffin, you might as well come from Mars. - Bjork

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

Mushroom: 1. A motel for quickies; 2. The place where they store the school food; 3. A room that has no sides, no walls, no doors and no ceilings. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I cook croquetas, and I eat jamon. I keep my diet 100% Mediterranean and drink my Rioja. In that sense, I have a piece of Spain in West Hollywood. - Paz Vega

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell

Our food pyramid, the kind of diet that is constantly promoted, is completely warped. It's not based around anything to do with healing your body. - Jessica Origliasso


Jogger's Weight Scale

Toilet Snake

Eye Testing In Progress

Parent Signature

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Long Bore Gun

Bird Cam

Lost Wormhole

Where Weir'd Frogmen Jump In

Low Ceiling Workout

Dog Diner

Wet T-Shirt Contest Winners

Cow Farts

Revenge

Gaping Hole Costume

Redneck Water Skiing

Harrison Ford

Plenty of Room for God's Creatures

Aussie Selfie

Pyramid Kiss

Piano Door Bell

Trucks with 'Down' Syndrome

Tower of Pisa Restorer

Glamour Training