Joe-ks.com
#1 humor site on the 'net
Wine Bibber
Oenophilia poetry - a love poem of wine
Wine Bibber by Robert Service (1907)
I would rather drink than eat,
And though I superbly sup,
Food, I feel, can never beat
Delectation of the cup.
Wine it is that crowns the feast;
Fish and fowl and fancy meat
Are of my delight the least;
I would rather drink than eat.
Though no Puritan I be,
And have doubts of Kingdom Come,
With those fellows I agree
Who deplore the Demon Rum.
Gin and brandy I decline,
And I shy at whisky neat;
But give me rare vintage wine,
Gad! I'd rather drink than eat.
Food surfeit is of the beast;
Wine is from the gods a gift.
All from prostitute to priest
Can attest to its uplift.
Green and garnet glows the vine;
Grapes grow plump in happy heat;
Gold and ruby winks the wine...
Come! Let's rather drink than eat.
I would rather drink than eat,
And though I superbly sup,
Food, I feel, can never beat
Delectation of the cup.
Wine it is that crowns the feast;
Fish and fowl and fancy meat
Are of my delight the least;
I would rather drink than eat.
Though no Puritan I be,
And have doubts of Kingdom Come,
With those fellows I agree
Who deplore the Demon Rum.
Gin and brandy I decline,
And I shy at whisky neat;
But give me rare vintage wine,
Gad! I'd rather drink than eat.
Food surfeit is of the beast;
Wine is from the gods a gift.
All from prostitute to priest
Can attest to its uplift.
Green and garnet glows the vine;
Grapes grow plump in happy heat;
Gold and ruby winks the wine...
Come! Let's rather drink than eat.
Good wine needs no vine. - French Proverb
When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb
Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder. - Addison Mizner
Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster
Every cask smells of the wine it contains. - Spanish Proverb
Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson
Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown
Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown
Draft Dodger: Someone who avoids beer on tap. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker
Music is the wine that fills the cup of silence. - Robert Fripp
Bladder: The human apparatus that pays the tax on beer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst
Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown
The sweetest grapes are picked from the vineyard of friendship. - French Proverb
A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I
God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying
Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin
We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine. - Eduardo Galeano
In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. - Frank Sinatra
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin
Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale
Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. - Lord Dunsany
Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke
You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx
Why is it that everybody's suing the tobacco companies and not the alcohol companies? - Donald Trump
My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown
Just as Jesus created wine from water, we humans are capable of transmuting emotion into music. - Carlos Santana
He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days. - Groucho Marx
Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. - Hunter S Thompson
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine
Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
In those days the best painkiller was ice. It wasn't addictive, and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it. - George Burns
NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown
The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth. - Jim Harrison
When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb
Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder. - Addison Mizner
Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster
Every cask smells of the wine it contains. - Spanish Proverb
Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson
Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown
Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown
Draft Dodger: Someone who avoids beer on tap. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker
Music is the wine that fills the cup of silence. - Robert Fripp
Bladder: The human apparatus that pays the tax on beer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst
Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown
The sweetest grapes are picked from the vineyard of friendship. - French Proverb
A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I
God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying
Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin
We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine. - Eduardo Galeano
In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. - Frank Sinatra
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin
Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale
Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. - Lord Dunsany
Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke
You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx
Why is it that everybody's suing the tobacco companies and not the alcohol companies? - Donald Trump
My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown
Just as Jesus created wine from water, we humans are capable of transmuting emotion into music. - Carlos Santana
He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days. - Groucho Marx
Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. - Hunter S Thompson
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine
Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
In those days the best painkiller was ice. It wasn't addictive, and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it. - George Burns
NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown
The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth. - Jim Harrison
TP Safety
Locked Up Bull Elk
Duck Crossing
Peeping Snake
Hydro Water Power
Cutting Edge Delivery
Baby Scan
Redneck Mirror
Skateboard Statue
WipeOut
Turtle Truck
How To Burn Fat
Unplugged
Praying & Preying Mantis
Good Driver
Overpass Passover
Fire Starter
Sinus Remedy - How To Clear Out Your Nostrils
Auto Strap
Never Run a Red Light
Bee Safe
Hummers Only Look Tough
Tactical Texas
Defence Budget Cuts