Ziptie Present
She'll never open this present!
How to open an un-openable Christmas present
QuotaBillsChristmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb
A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown
Housewarming: The last call for wedding presents - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd
Your children need your presence more than your presents. - Jesse Jackson
Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund
I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan
Opportunity does not knock. It presents itself when you beat down the door. - Kyle Chandler
Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard
Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson
If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway
Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson
I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller
True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker
If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown
I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright
No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby
The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes
The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan
Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey
I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put
the batteries. - Milton Berle
A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor
Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump
Unrest of spirit is a mark of life; one problem after another presents itself and in the solving of them we can find our greatest pleasure. - Kal Menninger