#1 humor site on the 'net

About Grandparents

8 year olds write a paper about their grandparents

About Grandparents thanks to Emery Pettigrove

Grandparents are a lady and a man who have no little children of their own. They like other people’s.

A grandfather is a man, and a grandmother is a lady.

Grandparents don’t have to do anything except be there when we come to see them. They are so old they shouldn’t play hard or run. It is good if they drive us to the shops and give us money.

When they take us for walks, they slow down past things like pretty leaves and caterpillars.

They show us and talk to us about the colours of the flowers and also why we shouldn’t step on cracks.

They don’t say, “Hurry up.”

Usually grandmothers are fat but not too fat to tie your shoes.

They wear glasses and funny underwear.

They can take their teeth and gums out.

Grandparents don’t have to be smart.

They have to answer questions like “Why isn’t God married?” and “How come dogs chase cats?”

When they read to us, they don’t skip. They don’t mind if we ask for the same story over again.

Everybody should try to have a grandmother, especially if you don’t have television because they are the only grownups who like to spend time with us.

They know we should have a snack time before bed time, and they say prayers with us and kiss us even when we’ve acted bad.

Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good things, but I don’t get to see him enough to get as smart as him.

It’s funny when they bend over - you hear gas leaks, and they blame their dog.

QuotaBills
My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown

Grammatical Error: When Grandma screws up - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Kids don't remember their best day of television. - Unknown

Leading your family is a lot tougher than basketball. - Giannis Antetokounmpo

The presidency is temporary, but the family is permanent. - Yvonne de Gaulle

A grandfather carries pictures where his money used to be. - Joe-kster

Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. - Daniel F E Auber

I'm super laid back. I'm from Texas. I love my family. - Selena Gomez

People should find happiness in the little things, like family. - Amanda Bynes

We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. - Christopher Morley

Family means putting your arms around each other and being there. - Barbara Bush

Jackpot: When all the kids stay at friends' homes for the night - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Forget aging. If you're six feet above ground, it's a good day. - Faith Hill

Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music. - William Stafford

I come from an Irish Catholic family, and hell-raising is part of the DNA. - Brian Dennehy

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. - Buddy Hackett

You've got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was. - Irish Proverb

All kids need is a little help, a little hope, and somebody who believes in them. - Earvin "Magic" Johnson

If you're Irish, it doesn't matter where you go - you'll find family. - Victoria Smurfit

My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng

Hopefully, kids realize you can do anything you want. Skateboarding can be that gateway. - Ryan Sheckler

He that has no fools, knaves, nor beggars in his family was begot by a flash of lightning. - Thomas Fuller

Having kids is the ultimate job in life. I want to be most successful at being a good father. - Nick Lachey

If a tie is like kissing your sister, losing is like kissing your grandmother with her teeth out. - George Brett

Grandma always made you feel she had been waiting to see you all day and now the day was complete. - Marcy DeMaree

I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie. - Jimmy Fallon

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell

Every family story has 1,000 other stories contained within it, like an unending series of nesting dolls. - Alison Pick

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

Grandchildren don't make a man feel old; it's the knowledge that he's married to a grandmother. - G Norman Collie

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. - Ogden Nash

I'm grateful that I never was that senior athlete who realized she'd done nothing but train all her life. - Clara Hughes

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

You know your kids are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going. - P.J. O'Rourke

In a big family the first child is kind of like the first pancake. If it's not perfect, that's okay, there are a lot more coming along. - Antonin Scalia

With the steady disintegration of the family in modern society over the last century, the role of the school in bridging the gap has become vital. - Stephen Covey

Blind dates are treacherous. You don't know who this person is. You wonder, "Should I call my grandma during coffee to get out of this?" - Alan Alda


Swingers

Patience and Wisdom

Hippo Race

Tank Top Security

Bus Office

I Lost My Job With Lifeline

Wet Rain

Boo Pumpkin

Downspout

Sausage Cat

Plastic Bottle Beach Art

Dog Shoes

Casket Car

Cafe Cappuccino

Redneck Car Swing

Need A Lifeguard?

Newfie Parkin' Only

What Are Friends For?

Piano Mover

Pumpkin Helmet

TP For Those With Money To Throw Away

Redneck Mailbox

Dog O'Lanterns

Canvas Rest Break