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About Grandparents

8 year olds write a paper about their grandparents

About Grandparents thanks to Emery Pettigrove

Grandparents are a lady and a man who have no little children of their own. They like other people’s.

A grandfather is a man, and a grandmother is a lady.

Grandparents don’t have to do anything except be there when we come to see them. They are so old they shouldn’t play hard or run. It is good if they drive us to the shops and give us money.

When they take us for walks, they slow down past things like pretty leaves and caterpillars.

They show us and talk to us about the colours of the flowers and also why we shouldn’t step on cracks.

They don’t say, “Hurry up.”

Usually grandmothers are fat but not too fat to tie your shoes.

They wear glasses and funny underwear.

They can take their teeth and gums out.

Grandparents don’t have to be smart.

They have to answer questions like “Why isn’t God married?” and “How come dogs chase cats?”

When they read to us, they don’t skip. They don’t mind if we ask for the same story over again.

Everybody should try to have a grandmother, especially if you don’t have television because they are the only grownups who like to spend time with us.

They know we should have a snack time before bed time, and they say prayers with us and kiss us even when we’ve acted bad.

Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good things, but I don’t get to see him enough to get as smart as him.

It’s funny when they bend over - you hear gas leaks, and they blame their dog.

QuotaBills
To stop aging, keep on raging. - Michael Forbes

My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown

A happy family is but an earlier heaven. - Sir John Bowring

Do your kids a favor - don't have any. - Robert Orben

Grandfather: A grandchild's press agent - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Germs: The only things kids will share freely - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Eat: What kids do between meals, but not at them - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Kids don't remember their best day of television. - Unknown

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage. - Erma Bombeck

I'm super laid back. I'm from Texas. I love my family. - Selena Gomez

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

Remember as far as anyone knows, we're a nice normal family. - Homer Simpson

We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. - Christopher Morley

Water Hazard: Giving the kids too much to drink before a road trip - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

To the world you are a mother, but to your family you are the world. - Unknown

Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your head. - Martin Mull

Passing Tone: Frequently heard near the baked beans at family barbecues - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music. - William Stafford

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. - Buddy Hackett

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap. - Fred Allen

If you're Irish, it doesn't matter where you go - you'll find family. - Victoria Smurfit

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

Hopefully, kids realize you can do anything you want. Skateboarding can be that gateway. - Ryan Sheckler

There's no road map on how to raise a family: it's always an enormous negotiation. - Meryl Streep

Because: Mom's reason for having kids do things which can't be explained logically - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You can lead audiences to a half-dressed, aging pop star but you can't make them watch. - Megan Basham

Zucchini: Vegetable which can be baked, boiled, fried or steamed before kids refuse to eat it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me his watch. - Woody Allen

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

There's a lot of baggage that comes along with our family, but it's Louis Vuitton baggage. - Kim Kardashian

My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping. - Rita Rudner

My family was so poor that if I hadn't been born a boy, I wouldn't of had anything to play with. - Rodney Dangerfield

Family faces are magic mirrors. Looking at people who belong to us, we see the past, present and future. - Gail L. Buckley

Every boy needs a role model that he can be proud of and talk about to the other kids in the playground. - Athol Fugard

Give me a Murphy bed, a Lazy Susan, a grandfather clock and a bulldog, and I will show you the meaning of comedy. - Jonathan Goldstein

Antelope: 1. Why Grandpa won't forgive Uncle; 2. Event involving two bugs who fall in love and run away together. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

Happiness is being content with what you have, living in freedom and liberty, having a good family life and good friends. - Divyanka Tripathi

The quality of a father can be seen in the goals, dreams, and aspirations he sets not only for himself, but for his family. - Reed Markham


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