#1 humor site on the 'net

Annual Meeting of the Ontario Summer Tires Club

Pedal to the metal on Highway 401

Annual Meeting of the Ontario Summer Tires Club thanks to Emery Pettigrove

Keeping a safe following distance is by far one of the easiest, yet most commonly broken rules of defensive driving. The two-second rule is a rule of thumb by which a driver should maintain a safe following distance at any speed. Apparently Ontario drivers haven’t heard about this concept yet...

QuotaBills
When you come to a fork in the road, take it. - Yogi Berra

Defendit numerus: There is safety in numbers. - Unknown

Room service - don't send up any more ice. - WC Fields

Care shouldn't start in the emergency room. - James Douglas

Greatness is a road leading towards the unknown. - Charles de Gaulle

The road to success is always under construction. - Lily Tomlin

Safety is a cheap and effective insurance policy. - Unknown

If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet? - Steven Wright

The road is hard, and you have to get accustomed to it. - Miranda Lambert

A diamond is the only kind of ice that keeps a girl warm. - Elizabeth Taylor

What is the use of running when we are not on the right road? - German Proverb

We know the road to freedom has always been stalked by death. - Angela Davis

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass. - David Lee Roth

He who walks in the middle of the road gets hit from both sides. - George P. Schultz

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

Life is too short to eat vanilla ice cream and dance with boring men. - Unknown

My driving abilities from Mexico have helped me get through Hollywood. - Salma Hayek

She walked across the ballroom as if she were trudging through deep snow. - Noel Coward

The road to learning by precept is long, but by example short and effective. - Seneca

Whoever established the high road, and how high it should be, should be fired. - Sandra Bullock

The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear. - Josh Billins

There is nothing so strong or safe in an emergency of life as the simple truth. - Charles Dickens

When it gets hot like this, you know what I do? I keep my undies in the ice box. - Marilyn Monroe

The drivers have one foot on the brake, one on the clutch, and one on the throttle. - Bob Varsha

We're all pilgrims on the same journey, but some pilgrims have better road maps. - Nelson DeMille

When I got outta High School I was driving a truck. I was just a poor boy from Memphis. - Elvis Presley

The middle of the road is where the white line is - and that's the worst place to drive. - Robert Frost

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

I like ice hockey. No one is ever going to ask me to write about that as a metaphor for life. - Steven Pinker

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

I think every entrepreneur in Canada owes the next generation a road map of how to do it again. - Kevin O'Leary

Just 'cause there's snow in the basement don't mean there ain't no fire in the roof! - Archie Bunker

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

A good financial plan is a road map that shows us exactly how the choices we make today will affect our future. - Alexa Von Tobel

I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting. - Ronald Reagan

When you're stressed, eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is desserts. - Unknown

To find what you seek in the road of life, the best proverb of all is that which says: "Leave no stone unturned." - Edward Bulwer Lytton

Our minds are as different as our faces: we are all traveling to one destination; happiness; but few are going by the same road. - Charles Caleb Colton

My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it's on your plate - that's my philosophy. - Thornton Wilder

Eating a tuna roll at a sushi restaurant should be considered no more environmentally benign than driving a Hummer or harpooning a manatee. - Daniel Pauly


Fresh Chicken

Ice Climbing Building

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Does Your Hedgehog Bite?

Lazy Line Painters

Vegan Brownies

From Start To Finish

Milkshake Diet

Hand Speech

Software Cake

Bland Entrance

Preikestolen Pulpit Rock

Redneck Firemen

Side Rail

Icy Grip Of Winter

Brace For The Resolutioners

Shining Armor Knight

Icicle Drinks

Incontinent Pool

Handstand Snowman

Woke Up Early

Sincere Compliment

Snow Storage

Redneck Winter Spa