Joe-ks.com
#1 humor site on the 'net
Annual Meeting of the Ontario Summer Tires Club
Pedal to the metal on Highway 401
Keeping a safe following distance is by far one of the easiest, yet most commonly broken rules of defensive driving. The two-second rule is a rule of thumb by which a driver should maintain a safe following distance at any speed. Apparently Ontario drivers haven’t heard about this concept yet...
Ice Cream: What I do when scared - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I hope your only rocky road is chocolate. - Amanda Mosher
The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom. - William Blake
She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith
How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? - George Carlin
I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright
If you're already walking on thin ice, you might as well dance. - Proverb
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you didn't cook it! - Gordon Ramsay
Life is too short to eat vanilla ice cream and dance with boring men. - Unknown
The traveler with empty pockets pursues his journey in perfect safety. - Ovid
Break the ice in a crowded elevator by asking how much everyone weighs. - Bill Murray
Your own safety is at stake when your neighbor's house is in flames. - Horace
Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg
If you don't like the road you're walking, start paving another one. - Dolly Parton
God made the world round so we would never be able to see too far down the road. - Unknown
Having hope will give you courage. You will be protected and will rest in safety. - Bible
An opening statement is like a guide or a road map. It's a very delicate thing. - Johnnie Cochran
We know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the road. They get run over. - Ambrose Bierce
Hockey: 1. Mayhem on ice; 2. A form of disorderly conduct in which the score is kept. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Your goals are the road maps that guide you and show you what is possible for your life. - Les Brown
Why endeavor to straighten the road of life? The faster we travel, the less there is to see. - Helen Hayes
It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones
If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman
Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone. - Jim Fiebig
Just 'cause there's snow in the basement don't mean there ain't no fire in the roof! - Archie Bunker
My husband is so good at home repairs that they have a special VIP area for him in the emergency room. - Unknown
Iceomaniac: One who has to go out of their way to step on thin ice to hear a satisfying crunching sound - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
By its very nature the beautiful is isolated from everything else. From beauty no road leads to reality. - Hannah Arendt
I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... a large Arctic region covered with ice. - Robin Williams
The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull
If Music is a Place - then Jazz is the City, Folk is the Wilderness, Rock is the Road, Classical is a Temple. - Vera Nazarian
All you have to do is look straight and see the road, and when you see it, don't sit looking at it - walk. - Ayn Rand
A great accomplishment shouldn't be the end of the road, just the starting point for the next leap forward. - Harvey Mackay
Courage is not the towering oak that sees storms come and go; it is the fragile blossom that opens in the snow. - Alice M Swaim
Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you're riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. - Bob Marley
Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety. - Benjamin Franklin
There is a blessed necessity by which the interest of men is always driving them to the right, and making all crime mean and ugly. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright
New Pasta Diet: Just walk pasta bakery without stopping. Walk pasta candy store without stopping. Walk pasta ice cream shop without stopping. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Indeed the safest road to Hell is the gradual one - the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts. - C S Lewis
I hope your only rocky road is chocolate. - Amanda Mosher
The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom. - William Blake
She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith
How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? - George Carlin
I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright
If you're already walking on thin ice, you might as well dance. - Proverb
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you didn't cook it! - Gordon Ramsay
Life is too short to eat vanilla ice cream and dance with boring men. - Unknown
The traveler with empty pockets pursues his journey in perfect safety. - Ovid
Break the ice in a crowded elevator by asking how much everyone weighs. - Bill Murray
Your own safety is at stake when your neighbor's house is in flames. - Horace
Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg
If you don't like the road you're walking, start paving another one. - Dolly Parton
God made the world round so we would never be able to see too far down the road. - Unknown
Having hope will give you courage. You will be protected and will rest in safety. - Bible
An opening statement is like a guide or a road map. It's a very delicate thing. - Johnnie Cochran
We know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the road. They get run over. - Ambrose Bierce
Hockey: 1. Mayhem on ice; 2. A form of disorderly conduct in which the score is kept. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Your goals are the road maps that guide you and show you what is possible for your life. - Les Brown
Why endeavor to straighten the road of life? The faster we travel, the less there is to see. - Helen Hayes
It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones
If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman
Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone. - Jim Fiebig
Just 'cause there's snow in the basement don't mean there ain't no fire in the roof! - Archie Bunker
My husband is so good at home repairs that they have a special VIP area for him in the emergency room. - Unknown
Iceomaniac: One who has to go out of their way to step on thin ice to hear a satisfying crunching sound - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
By its very nature the beautiful is isolated from everything else. From beauty no road leads to reality. - Hannah Arendt
I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... a large Arctic region covered with ice. - Robin Williams
The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull
If Music is a Place - then Jazz is the City, Folk is the Wilderness, Rock is the Road, Classical is a Temple. - Vera Nazarian
All you have to do is look straight and see the road, and when you see it, don't sit looking at it - walk. - Ayn Rand
A great accomplishment shouldn't be the end of the road, just the starting point for the next leap forward. - Harvey Mackay
Courage is not the towering oak that sees storms come and go; it is the fragile blossom that opens in the snow. - Alice M Swaim
Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you're riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. - Bob Marley
Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety. - Benjamin Franklin
There is a blessed necessity by which the interest of men is always driving them to the right, and making all crime mean and ugly. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright
New Pasta Diet: Just walk pasta bakery without stopping. Walk pasta candy store without stopping. Walk pasta ice cream shop without stopping. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Indeed the safest road to Hell is the gradual one - the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts. - C S Lewis
Interuption Charge
Reach For Your Dreams
Perception
Jeopardy Measuring Cup
All We Have To Do Is Stand Up
Vacuum Extender
BrownEes
Chinese Puzzle Car
Always Give 100% At Work
Ancient Politician
My Toaster Is Broken
Shining Stars
Tunnel Face
The Bugs Are Bad This Year
Dog Spa
Ostrich Imprint
Local Crabs
World's First Hard Hat
Bird Melons
Bag Hang-Up
LippoPotumus
Haircut For Staff Meetings
Wolf Mode
Undertaker Bike