#1 humor site on the 'net

Bacon Birthday Cake

Don't go bacon my heart!

Bacon Birthday Cake thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Love is a hole in the heart. - Ben Hecht

Sharp are the arrows of a broken heart. - Cassandra Clare

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - James Thurber

Fame is a fickle food upon a shifting plate. - Emily Dickinson

Food is our common ground, a universal experience. - James Beard

Heaven doesn't ignore cries of a broken heart. - Toba Beta

The food in Yugoslavia is fine if you like pork tartare. - Ed Begley Jr.

I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart. - Vincent van Gogh

The only thin a boyfriend was good for was a shattered heart. - Becca Fitzpatrick

The seat of knowledge is in the head, of wisdom, in the heart. - William Hazlitt

Faith is a knowledge within the heart, beyond the reach of proof. - Kahlil Gibran

Laughter is the brush that sweeps away the cobwebs of your heart. - Mort Walker

Gratitude is when memory is stored in the heart and not in the mind. - Lionel Hampton

Spiteful words can hurt your feelings but silence breaks your heart. - C S Lewis

Music is the literature of the heart; it commences where speech ends. - Alphonse de Lamartine

Above all else, guard your heart, for it affects everything else you do. - Unknown

Certain things catch your eye, but pursue only those that capture the heart. - Indian Proverb

If I ever have to stop taking the subway, I'm gonna have a heart attack. - Edward Norton

A daughter is someone you laugh with, dream with, and love with all your heart. - Unknown

I took a deep breath and listened to the old bray of my heart. I am. I am. I am. - Sylvia Plath

There's a difference between an intellectual faith and a personal, heart faith. - Billy Graham

When you pray, rather let your heart be without words than your words without heart. - John Bunyan

Let choice whisper in your ear and love murmur in your heart. Be ready, here comes life. - Unknown

When once a woman has given you her heart, you can never get rid of the rest of her body. - John Vanbrugh

Without my pets, my wallet would be full, my house would be clean, but my heart would be empty. - Unknown

Before you speak, it is necessary for you to listen, for God speaks in the silence of the heart. - Mother Teresa

Chocolate symbolizes, as does no other food, luxury, comfort, sensuality, gratification, and love. - Karl Petzke

I'm never gonna get used to the 31st century. Caffeinated bacon? Baconated grapefruit? Admiral Crunch? - Fry

It is only with the heart that one can see clearly, for the most essential things are invisible to the eye. - Unknown

I'm not sure which is harder on a relationship: sharing a dresser for three years, or sharing an iPhone charger for one day. - Unknown

My wife and I tried two or three times in the last 40 years to have breakfast together, but it was so disagreeable we had to stop. - Winston Churchill

The difference between involvement and commitment is like an eggs and ham breakfast: the chicken was involved, the pig was committed. - Unknown

My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle

Keep your heart open to dreams. For as long as there's a dream, there is hope, and as long as there is hope, there is joy in living. - Unknown

Getting wrapped up in worries is bad for your body and spirit. That's when you must short out your logic circuits and reboot your heart. - Pokemon

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

Morality cannot be legislated, but behavior can be regulated. Judicial decrees may not change the heart, but they can restrain the heartless. - Martin Luther King Jr.

I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly, that's a good thing. - Tim Allen

I adore art. When I am alone with my notes, my heart pounds and the tears stream from my eyes, and my emotion and my joys are too much to bear. - Guiseppe Verdi

My mother had a slender, small body, but a large heart - a heart so large that everybody's joys found welcome in it, and hospitable accommodation. - Mark Twain


Better With A Beard

Fat Twin Sisters

Breathe in the Ocean

Tel Aviv Luxury Penthouse

Caffeine Boosters

Head Path

Proper English

Reese Witherspoon

Phones At Six

It Was A Dark And Stormy Night

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Whiskey Lurks Good

Tetris Couch

Canadian Alphabet

Love Rocks

Benadryl Cumquat

In It For The Long Haul

Ready Soon

Mud Flops

Been Lapped

How To Use The New 1940 Dial Telephone

Garmin Drive

Redneck Bucket List

Rotating Illusion - Pink Eye Trick