Best Office Prank

Post Office: U.S. Snail - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dentist Office: A filling station - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There are no office hours for leaders. - Cardinal J Gibbons

Stampede: A mad rush to the post office - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When spiders unite, they can tie down a lion. - Ethiopian Proverb

Fireplace: An office used for discharging people - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The bird a nest, the spider a web, man friendship. - William Blake

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

I think housework is the reason most women go to the office. - Heloise Cruse

You do well to consider the office your own, for you bought it. - Julius Caesar's father

Fools take to themselves the respect that is given to their office. - Aesop

His insomnia was so bad, he couldn't sleep during office hours. - Arthur Baer

The most important political office is that of the private citizen. - Louis D. Brandeis

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. - Aesop

I have no ambition to govern men; it is a painful and thankless office. - Thomas Jefferson

There is one higher office than president and I would call that patriot. - Gary Hart

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early. - Charles Lamb

Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly. - Morticia Addams

Every time I fill a vacant office, I make ten malcontents and one ingrate. - Louis XIV

After I make a lot of money, I'll be able to afford running for office. - Christy Romano

The short memories of American voters is what keeps our politicians in office. - Will Rogers

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

Personally, I'm against political jokes. Too often they get elected to office. - Henny Youngman

When people ask if I do my own stunts, I always answer, "Not on purpose." - Billy Bob Thornton

I had the most boring office job in the world - I used to clean the windows on envelopes. - Rita Rudner

You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not professional anymore. - Jeff Foxworthy

Apparently, as a kid, I used to eat spiders. Maybe there's some Freudian significance behind that. - Matt Smith

I have far too many skeletons in my closet to think about any sort of serious mention of public office. - David Cone

The larger office, the corner space, the extra window are the teddy bears and tricycles of adult office life. - Willard Gaylin

They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer. - Milton Berle

A boss on vacation is the most cost effective measure. Everybody in the office has a vacation at the cost of one. - Thibaut

I used to work at the unemployment office. I hated it because when they fired me, I had to show up at work anyway. - Wally Wang

What politicians want to create is irreversible change because when you leave office someone changes it back again. - Estelle Morris

There was a fire at the main Inland Revenue office in London today, but it was put out before any serious good was done. - Ronnie Corbett

Can't figure women. Sometimes they're afraid of a spider, other times they're not afraid to stand right up to the devil. - Donal Harding

Laws are like spiders' webs which, if anything small falls into them they ensnare it, but large things break through and escape. - Solon

A wise man is cured of ambition by ambition itself; his aim is so exalted that riches, office, fortune and favour cannot satisfy him. - Samuel Johnson

If Obama resigns from office NOW, thereby doing a great service to the country, I will give him free lifetime golf at any one of my courses. - Donald Trump

I love working for myself from home. I get along with everyone in the office; I can show up in pajamas, and I always win Employee of the Month. - Missy Miwac

The Post Office just recalled their newest stamps. They had a picture of lawyers on them, and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on. - Marvin Lebman