#1 humor site on the 'net

Best Office Prank

Warning: huge aggressive spider in cup

Best Office Prank thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Post Office: U.S. Snail - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dentist Office: A filling station - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Stampede: A mad rush to the post office - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When spiders unite, they can tie down a lion. - Ethiopian Proverb

The bird a nest, the spider a web, man friendship. - William Blake

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

Laws, like spider webs, catch flies and let hawks go free. - Spanish Proverb

I'm not afraid of spiders; I've had worse in my bed. - Donna Lynn Hope

I think housework is the reason most women go to the office. - Heloise Cruse

Fools take to themselves the respect that is given to their office. - Aesop

The most important political office is that of the private citizen. - Louis D. Brandeis

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. - Aesop

I have no ambition to govern men; it is a painful and thankless office. - Thomas Jefferson

There is one higher office than president and I would call that patriot. - Gary Hart

Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly. - Morticia Addams

Every time I fill a vacant office, I make ten malcontents and one ingrate. - Louis XIV

After I make a lot of money, I'll be able to afford running for office. - Christy Romano

The short memories of American voters is what keeps our politicians in office. - Will Rogers

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

Personally, I'm against political jokes. Too often they get elected to office. - Henny Youngman

When people ask if I do my own stunts, I always answer, "Not on purpose." - Billy Bob Thornton

If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas. - Mason Cooley

I had the most boring office job in the world - I used to clean the windows on envelopes. - Rita Rudner

You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not professional anymore. - Jeff Foxworthy

I have far too many skeletons in my closet to think about any sort of serious mention of public office. - David Cone

It's useless to hold a person to anything he says when he's in love, drunk or running for office. - Shirley Maclaine

The larger office, the corner space, the extra window are the teddy bears and tricycles of adult office life. - Willard Gaylin

They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer. - Milton Berle

A boss on vacation is the most cost effective measure. Everybody in the office has a vacation at the cost of one. - Thibaut

The Brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up and does not stop until you get into the office. - Robert Frost

There was a fire at the main Inland Revenue office in London today, but it was put out before any serious good was done. - Ronnie Corbett

Written laws are like spider's webs; they will catch the weak and poor, but would be torn in pieces by the rich and powerful. - Anacharsis

The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are in the wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are right. - Mark Twain

Can't figure women. Sometimes they're afraid of a spider, other times they're not afraid to stand right up to the devil. - Donal Harding

Laws are like spiders' webs which, if anything small falls into them they ensnare it, but large things break through and escape. - Solon

A wise man is cured of ambition by ambition itself; his aim is so exalted that riches, office, fortune and favour cannot satisfy him. - Samuel Johnson

If Obama resigns from office NOW, thereby doing a great service to the country, I will give him free lifetime golf at any one of my courses. - Donald Trump

I love working for myself from home. I get along with everyone in the office; I can show up in pajamas, and I always win Employee of the Month. - Missy Miwac

The Post Office just recalled their newest stamps. They had a picture of lawyers on them, and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on. - Marvin Lebman


Bear Pinata

Swim Vacation

What Are Your Skills?

Portable Barber Shop

Snail Trail

Anger Release Machine

Pun-e Signs

Wake Me At Noon

Pringle Art

Lodge Welcome

Holstein or Holestein?

Dead Poirot

Restroom Fragrance

Word Puzzle Clock

Scenic Western Pennsylvania

Free Nobel Peace Prize

Teach Our Children Well

Stair Substitute

Solar System Watch

Puppy Love

Zipbridge

Today's Bathroom Reader

Mustache Soother

Beach Bash