#1 humor site on the 'net

British Tea Party

Putting a stain on the map of Great Britain

British Tea Party thanks to Bazil Thompson

QuotaBills
Scotland is the Canada of England. - Rainn Wilson

England is a nation of shopkeepers. - Napoleon Bonaparte

A cup of tea would restore my normality. - Douglas Adams

I got nasty habits; I take tea at three. - Mick Jagger

He was not only a bore; he bored for England. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Tea to the English is really a picnic indoors. - Alice Walker

Bread and water can so easily be toast and tea. - Janet Clarkson

But indeed I would rather have nothing but tea. - Jane Austen

Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea. - Henry Fielding

England can never be ruined except by a Parliament. - Lord Burleigh

I didn't know he was dead; I thought he was British. - Unknown

The best thing I know between France and England is the sea. - Douglas Jerrold

The monarchical institution in England is immensely valuable. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Rain is the one thing the British do better than anybody else. - Marilyn French

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

Tea should be as bitter as wormwood and as sharp as a two-edged sword. - Lemony Snicket

England is an empire, Germany is a nation, a race, France is a person. - Jules Michelet

My hour for tea is half-past five, and my buttered toast waits for nobody. - Wilkie Collins

I liked being a teenager, but I would not go back for all the tea in China. - Rob Lowe

You can never get a cup of tea big enough or a book long enough to suit me. - C S Lewis

You can never get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suit me. - C S Lewis

The Irish and British, they love satire, it's a large part of the culture. - Ben Nicholson

The people of England are never so happy as when you tell them they are ruined. - Arthur Murphy

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

The British have a remarkable talent for keeping calm, even when there is no crisis. - Franklin P Jones

A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Some people will tell you there is a great deal of poetry and fine sentiment in a chest of tea. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I know why the sun never sets on the British Empire: God wouldn't trust an Englishman in the dark. - Duncan Spaeth

The sun never sets on the British Empire. But it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded. - Steven Wright

In America, the policeman is a working-class hero. In England, the policeman is a working-class traitor. - Martin Amis

"Burn everything British," he once advised his Irish countrymen, "except their coal." - Jonathan Swift

When I played ball, I didn't play for fun... It's no pink tea, and mollycoddles had better stay out. - Ty Cobb

Thank God for tea! What would the world do without tea! How did it exist? I am glad I was not born before tea. - Sydney Smith

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

If it is good to have one foot in England, it is still better, or at least as good, to have the other out of it. - Henry James

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

I welcome him like I welcome cold sores. He's from England, he's angry, and he's got Mad Power Disease. - Paula Abdul

In England people actually try to be brilliant at breakfast. That is so dreadful of them! Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast. - Oscar Wilde

It is quite untrue that British people don't appreciate music. They may not understand it but they absolutely love the noise it makes. - Sir Thomas Beecham

Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin


Saying Pun

Redneck Blinds

Kid Disposal

Motorvation

Electric Football

Montgomery Ward 1934 Christmas Catalog

Halloween Lamp

Making Music Together

Back Asswards

Tent Peg Setup

Fang Treats

Model T Snowmobile

Skinny Puddy Tat

Redneck Cocktail

Drug Dog Search

Vice Grip Handles

Nouveau Riche

Triple Bypass Burger

Hyphenated Names

Indian Fish Pond

Lunch Anyone?

Wet T-Shirt Contest Winners

Giraffe Lunch

Bathroom Celebration