Despicable Watermelon

Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands. - Unknown

Avoid fruit and nuts. You are what you eat. - Jim Davis

My diet is like Atkins, but with the carbs. - BJ Penn

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may diet. - Unknown

The trees that are slow to grow bear the best fruit. - Moliere

A balanced diet is a Cracker Jack cookie in each hand. - Joe-kster

For corporate marketers, podcasting is low-hanging fruit. - Paul Gillin

Excellence in any pursuit is the late, ripe fruit of toil. - W.M.L. Jay

Why not go out on a limb? Isn't that where the fruit is? - Frank Scully

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

Native ability without education is like a tree without fruit. - Aristippus

The cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good, spit it out. - Unknown

Don't let the seeds stop you from enjoying the watermelon. - Unknown

Character is the root of the tree; conduct, the fruit it bears. - E.M. Bounds

I don't diet, I just don't eat as much as I'd like to. - Linda Evangelista

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

Don't be afraid to go out on a limb. That's where the fruit is. - H. Jackson Browne

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks. - Totie Fields

Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face. - Enrico Caruso

Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow ripening fruit. - Aristotle

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. - Miles Kington

Life is a slice of watermelon: never without seeds but sweet 'til the bitter end. - Unknown

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

Nature magically suits a man to his fortunes, by making them the fruit of his character. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. - Jackie Gleason

I'm on a strict liquid diet: Mimosas for breakfast, Margaritas for lunch, Martinis for dinner. - Unknown

I know I'm not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling. - Rodney Dangerfield

Self-respect is the fruit of discipline; the sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself. - Abraham J. Heschel

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

Whatever I am offered in devotion with a pure heart - a leaf, a flower, fruit, or water - I accept with joy. - Bhagavad Gita

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

Life is like a good watermelon, sweet and juicy... but you still have to pick out the seeds to enjoy every bit of it. - Unknown

I value my garden more for being full of blackbirds than of cherries, and very frankly give them fruit for their songs. - Joseph Addison

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned now to cook. - Andy Rooney

Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each. - Henry David Thoreau