Dinosaur Veterinarian

Birth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker

I told you I was sick. - B.P. Roberts

Diabetes taught me discipline. - Sonia Sotomayor

Good doctors make poor patients. - Unknown

Boredom is a sickness of the soul. - Unknown

No medicine cures what happiness cannot. - Gabriel G Marquez

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. - George Burns

In rock music terms I'm like a dinosaur. - Belinda Carlisle

Better a lucky physician than a learned one. - English Proverb

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

When I first found out I had diabetes I denied it. - Nell Carter

My music isn't just music - it's medicine. - Unknown

Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker

There are life-threatening issues related to diabetes. - Stephen Wallem

Somebody must get the incompetent lawyers and doctors. - George Bernard Shaw

There is no physician who can cure the disease of love. - African Proverb

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

If you wish to die young, make your physician your heir. - Romania Proverb

A sweating ovary or a sick prostate explains most history. - Martin H. Fischer

I'm never sick. Why get sick? It's a waste of time. - Martha Stewart

What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts. - Homer Simpson

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

A dentist at work in his vocation always looks down in the mouth. - George D. Prentice

Be kind to your dentist because he has "fillings" too. - Unknown

I'm so ugly my mother had morning sickness - AFTER I was born. - Rodney Dangerfield

She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. - Groucho Marx

NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable. - Mitch Hedberg

Britain's most useful role is somewhere between bee and dinosaur. - Harold MacMillan

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

It is said to be the manner of hypochondriacs to change often their physician. - William Cullen

I'm not sick, I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure! - Unknown

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

I've spent three hours hanging upside down while fighting off dinosaur attacks. - Jason O'Mara

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas. - Mason Cooley

Virus is a Latin word used by doctors to mean 'your guess is as good as mine'. - Bob Hope

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Stress exacerbates any problem, whether it's diabetes, heart trouble, MS, or whatever. - Mary Ann Mobley

Coaching doesn't make sick people well - it helps healthy people become extra-ordinary. - Thomas Leonard

I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker

Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket. - Ambrose Bierce

I want flowers, I don't want to text. What does that make me? What kind of dinosaur am I? - Jennifer Garner

Let your entrance into the sick room decrease, not increase, the irritability of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. - Joey Adams

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

Diabetes occurs at twice the rate in the African American community as it does in white Americans. - Xavier Becerra

Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce

Ignorance is not so damnable as humbug, but when it prescribes pills it may happen to do more harm. - George Eilot

Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun. - Flip Wilson

I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences. - Brian Kiley

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons

There's no environment I can think of that would have remained constant enough to preserve dinosaur DNA. - Hendrik Poinar

The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever be shut from the intrusion of the wise and humane surgeon. - Eric Ericksen

Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine

My heart, which is so full to overflowing, has often been solaced and refreshed by music when sick and weary. - Martin Luther

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

'Tis not always in a physician's power to cure the sick; at times the disease is stronger than trained art. - Ovid

The public needs to know - they need to know as much about atrial fibrillation as they do about cancer and diabetes. - Barry Manilow

Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

The only weapon with which the unconscious patient can immediately retaliate upon the incompetent surgeon is hemorrhage. - William Stewart Halsted

The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler

Albert Schweitzer's philosophy is that a sick, miserable African of today can be a strong healthy cannibal tomorrow. - Joe E Lewis

It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

A physician is obligated to consider more than a diseased organ, more even than the whole man - he must view the man in his world. - Harvey Cushing

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown

Lost wealth may be replaced by industry; lost knowledge by study; lost health by temperance or medicine; but lost time is gone forever. - Samuel Smiles

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield

You've heard of people calling in sick. You may have called in sick a few times yourself. But have you ever thought about calling in well? - Tom Robbins

A neurotic is a man who builds a castle in the air. A psychotic is the man who lives in it. And a psychiatrist is a man who collects the rent. - Lord Webb-Johnson

The physician should look upon the patient as a besieged city and try to rescue him with every means that art and science place at his command. - Alexander of Tralles

If I could store lightnings in jars, I'd sell them to sick fireflies to light their way. Only they have nothing to pay for it with but life. - Will Advise

A physician's physiology has much the same relation to his power of healing as a cleric's divinity has to his power of influencing conduct. - Samuel Butler

In other industries, value is defined by the ultimate stakeholder - the one who benefits, or not, from the service. We should do the same in medicine. - Dave deBronkart