#1 humor site on the 'net

Dog Hair Condiment

House welcoming hair care party for pets

Dog Hair Condiment thanks to Mike King

QuotaBills
The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher

Long on hair, sort on brains. - French Proverb

The drowning man grips to his own hair. - Greek Proverb

The dog represents all that is best in man. - Etienne Charlet

A spotless house is a sign of a misspent life. - Unknown

There will be no whitewash at the White House. - Richard M Nixon

The scalded dog fears hot water, and afterwards, cold. - Italian Proverb

Peace and a well-built house cannot be bought too dearly. - Danish Proverb

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney

A hot dog at the ballpark is better than a steak at the Ritz. - Humphrey Bogart

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman

Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten

No man should live where he can hear his neighbor's dog bark. - Nathaniel Macon

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones

Don't talk about a rope in the house of someone whose father was hung. - Colin Farrell

Observe your dog: if he's fat, then you're not getting enough exercise. - Evan Esar

I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum. - Steven Wright

I wouldn't run for President. I wouldn't want to move to a smaller house. - Bono

I love contemporary art, although I wouldn't want a pickled shark in my house. - Bruno Tonioli

I'm not Irish. Just because I have red hair doesn't mean I'm a lucky charm. - Rebecca Mader

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain

I get more distracted by hair or a really bad wig than I do costumes any day of the week. - Colleen Atwood

People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House. - Robin Williams

God gives men wisdom as he gives them gold; his treasure house is not the mint, but the mine. - Arabic Proverb

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler. - WC Fields

A woman should cleave into her husband. Right here in this house is where Edith's cleavage belongs. - Archie Bunker

Gonna be incrimated... they're gonna keep the ashes around the house in one of them silver urinals. - Archie Bunker

Lawyers are like painters - once they get into a house, you never know when you will get rid of them again. - Peter A Graham

The Honourable Lady was once an egg and people on both sides of this House greatly regret its fertilisation. - Nicholas Fairbairn

Eden is that old-fashioned house
We dwell in every day
Without suspecting our abode
Until we drive away. - Emily Dickinson

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. - Sam Ewing

Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken and there's a lot of throwing up. - Ray Romano

My girlfriend's dog died. So I got her an identical one. She was livid; 'What am I going to do with two dead dogs?' - Gary Delaney

You know, sometimes I feel well and vital in the world, and sometimes I just feel so distressed I want to pull my hair out by the roots. - Sharon Stone

Science is built up with facts, as a house is with stones. But a collection of facts is no more a science than a heap of stones is a house. - Jules H Poincare

When I was six, I entered a talent contest. I dyed my hair blond, had a chainsaw and pretended I was Eminem. The old folk weren't expecting that. - Nico Mirallegro

This is a honeydew day. That is when you get a day off and the wife says, "Honey, do this," and "Honey, do that" around the house. - Jim Lemon

Charity is a very personal equation, like we say charity begins at home. It starts with your immediate help in the house: the people who work for you. - Malaika A. Khan


2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Construction Clouds

It's Been A Good Day

Worst Aid

Dyslexic Camper

Moon Filament

Car Dirt Art

Newfie Swimming Pool

Stoned Sign

Redneck Plumbers

Someone Stole A Cracker

Moose Pedestrian

Hardtail Bike

Redneck Adjustable Shower

OCD Guy

Garage Add-on

Cow Vacation

ChristMoose Tree

Pilot Prop Job

Crow Species

Lawn Mirror

Fishing Addiction

Hairy Potter

Crosswalk Casualty