#1 humor site on the 'net

Dog Hair Condiment

House welcoming hair care party for pets

Dog Hair Condiment thanks to Mike King

QuotaBills
Dyspupsia: Being sick as a dog. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Subwoofer: A dog who scuba dives - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Southpaw: A dog who is left-handed - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Zit: Command given to a spotted dog - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown

You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffett

Operatics: Bugs that live in an opera house - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hot flushes and mentalpause. House of ill refute. - Archie Bunker

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

One trained dog equals 60 search-and-rescue workers. - Charles Stoehr

The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Hot Dog: The only animal that feeds the hand that bites it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Stucco: What a lot of house hunters are getting these days - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Better a hundred enemies outside the house than one inside. - Arabic proverb

Every day People straighten up the hair, why not the heart? - Ernesto Guevara

Experience is a comb life gives you after you lose your hair. - Judith Stern

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley

I used to think I'd like less grey hair. Now I'd like more of it. - Richie Benaud

If I could be half the person my dog is, I'd be twice the human I am. - Unknown

Don't talk about a rope in the house of someone whose father was hung. - Colin Farrell

I wanted a man who wouldn't stray so I'm dating a guy on house arrest. - Kim Bove

I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum. - Steven Wright

Someone told me I was immature. Guess who's not allowed in my tree house now? - Unknown

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar. - WC Fields

If you want to see me, come over anytime. If you want to see my house, make an appointment. - Unknown

Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done, and done right. - Walt Disney

God gives men wisdom as he gives them gold; his treasure house is not the mint, but the mine. - Arabic Proverb

Crafting fills my life, and my closets, and my drawers, and every empty tote bag in the house. - Unknown

Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair. - Khalil Gibran

If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. - Sam Ewing

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner

Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken and there's a lot of throwing up. - Ray Romano

You can not prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building a nest in your hair. - Chinese Proverb

One need not be a chamber to be haunted;
One need not be a house;
The brain has corridors surpassing
Material place. - Emily Dickinson

You know, sometimes I feel well and vital in the world, and sometimes I just feel so distressed I want to pull my hair out by the roots. - Sharon Stone

If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door, greet him with, "Who could have done this? We have no enemies." - Phyllis Diller

I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. - Steven Wright


Boneless Bananas

That's My Bed

Eye For Coffee

Logging Moose

Firemen's Revenge

Just In Thyme

Kapalua Resort - The Plantation Course

Alberta Hood Ornament

Outside Urinal

Fixer-Uppers

Just Divorced

Flannel Frontier

Humour in the Workplace

Colour Wheel

Milky Way

Security Guard

Wet Floor Caution

Stealth Birdhouse

Volvorine

Gas Prices of Yesteryear

Jurassic Pork

Wine Time Finally

Cheap Jeep

Windows Scoreboard