#1 humor site on the 'net

Early Bird

I should have gone to bed earlier last night

Early Bird thanks to Howard Chapman

QuotaBills
I'm an early-morning owl. - Patrick Wilson

When the owl sings, the night is silent. - Charles de Leusse

He who has no falcon must hunt with an owl. - Danish Proverb

I must confess, I was born at a very early age. - Groucho Marx

I am a brother to dragons, and a companion to owls. - Bible

Formula for success: rise early, work hard, strike oil. - J Paul Getty

You have to get up early if you want to get out of bed. - Groucho Marx

Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell and advertise. - Ted Turner

I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. I left early. - Red Buttons

The trouble with dawn is that it comes too early in the day. - Susan Richman

The early bird catches the worm, eats more, and dies sooner. - Czech Proverb

Modern Mother: One who worries if her daughter gets in too early - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Can grave and formal pass for wise,
When Men the solemn Owl despise? - Benjamin Franklin

Most of the early part of an actor's career, you do the jobs you get. - Jack Nicholson

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early. - Charles Lamb

Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do. - Jean-Paul Sartre

Work hard, stay positive, and get up early. It's the best part of the day. - George Allen

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

What happens early on in life is that at a certain age one stands still and stagnates. - T S Eliot

I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing. - Marsha Doble

Young man, the secret of my success is that at an early age I discovered I was not God. - Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.

And they bought an Owl, and a useful Cart,
And a pound of Rice, and a Cranberry Tart. - Edward Lear

One of the worst things that can happen in life is to win a bet on a horse at an early age. - Danny McGoorty

Oh say can you see, by the dawn's early light. What so proudly we hailed. Of thee I sing. - Archie Bunker

I learned at an early age that if you are nice to men, you can get anything you want from them. - Natalie Wood

Supporting myself at an early age was the best training for life I could have possibly received. - Lea Thompson

I think the shocking thing to discover is the owls are not stupid and very feral, very hard to train. - Robbie Coltrane

I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird and not enough the bad luck of the early worm. - Franklin D Roosevelt

He is a rarity which I cannot but be fond of, as one would be of a hog that could fiddle, or a singing owl. - John W. Rochester

I'm a night owl, and luckily my profession supports that. The best ideas come to me in the dead of night. - Josh Fox

I don't get off on romantic parts. But I often think if I had had my dental work done early on, well, maybe. - Morgan Freeman

Do not trap yourself into an owl's hooting sound
Where sad nights linger through the blackness of a hound - Munia Khan

Self-pity in its early stages is as snug as a feather mattress. Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable. - Maya Angelou

Let early education be a sort of amusement; you will then better be able to find out the natural bent of the child. - Plato

There's an upside to grandparenthood. You play, you give, you love, then you hand them back and go to an early movie. - Billy Crystal

I am like a pelican of the wilderness: I am like an owl of the desert. I watch, and am as a sparrow alone upon the house-top. - Bible

You are Mr. Owl. I am Ms. Hummingbird. We may come from different species but as long as you're a bird, I'm a bird too. - Glad Munaiseche

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

In the game of life, it's a good idea to have a few early losses, which relieves you of the pressure of trying to maintain an undefeated season. - Bill Vaughan

In New York, everybody looks great and is well dressed, but seeing someone in Ohio wearing Marc Jacobs is like spotting an owl in Central Park. Rare. - Isabel Gillies


Lego Bridge

Falls Trail Tree

Melting Kayak

Beetle Collection

Croc Diet

Plane Restaurant

Holiday Fun

Sandwich Shoes

Fearless

Finally Got A Haircut

Fedorable Platypuses

Lego Sushi

Hedge Face

Computer Bread

Robbers Lives Matter

UnBralievable

Rubble Trouble

Pool Side

Hair Moan Therapy

Beachport

Warm Nap

Wall Parkade

Flood Games

Lean Two Friends