#1 humor site on the 'net

End Of Shift

Time for sleep after a long day on the job

End Of Shift thanks to Mike King

QuotaBills
Let sleeping dogs lie. - French Proverb

I'll sleep when I'm dead. - Warren Zevon

A morning without coffee is like sleep. - Unknown

The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

Don't give up on your dreams - keep sleeping. - Unknown

Sleep is an excellent way of listening to an opera. - James Stephens

How you make your bed is how you are going to sleep. - Greek Proverb

Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend. - Corey Ford

A hot dog at the ballpark is better than a steak at the Ritz. - Humphrey Bogart

The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two. - Maurice Maeterlinck

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey

Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

No man should live where he can hear his neighbor's dog bark. - Nathaniel Macon

When the hares have all been caught, the hunting dogs are cooked. - Laozi

If you can't sleep do not count the sheep, worship the Shepherd. - Unknown

Happiness is coming home and knowing your dog is there to greet you. - Unknown

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

I need my sleep. I need about eight hours a day, and about ten at night. - Bill Hicks

One cannot think well, love well and sleep well if one has not dined well. - Virginia Woolf

The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep! - Unknown

The police are not here to create disorder, they;re here to preserve disorder. - Richard J Daley

I am obsessed with Costco. I love the salmon and rotisserie chicken, the dog beds. - Kris Jenner

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. - Winston Churchill

Police: The only people who are paid to go around pinching people in the wrong places - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done, and done right. - Walt Disney

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend. - Jack Nicholson

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair. - Arnold Toynbee

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife. - Ilie Nastase

I think our police are excellent, probably because I have not done anything that has occasioned being beaten up by these good men. - Clement Freud

The trout enjoys the river,
The whale enjoys the sea,
And dogs love most an old lamp-post,
But you're my cup of tea. - W H Auden

There is one longing almost as deep and imperious as the desire for food and sleep. It is the desire to be great. It is the desire to be important. - Dale Carnegie


Baby Illusion

Mother Wrench's Gripping Story

Sechelt Sunrays

Russian BiteLifter

Propane Diving

Scuba Diving Sucks

Louisiana Turtle Dogs

Special Offer

Parking Squeeze

Music Note Chairlift

Gangsta

Reformed Buddhists

Redneck Mirror

Buddha Is Watching You

Antler Switch Plate

Together Since

Barking Up The Wrong Tree

Indiana Bones

Raxe

Halloween Horse

Holding His Own Portraits

Kung Fu Driver

Ford Quadricycle

Redneck Hayride