End Of Shift

Every dog has his day. - Unknown

A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton

Is "tired old cliche" one? - Steven Wright

A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato

The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael

Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker

Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in. - Evan Davis

Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it. - Unknown

Sleep is an excellent way of listening to an opera. - James Stephens

Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep. - WC Fields

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. - Steven Wright

Dilemma of a student: Should I finish my homework or sleep? - Unknown

Sleep... the most beautiful experience in life - except drink. - WC Fields

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. - Leo J Burke

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

Men who are unhappy, like men who sleep badly, are always proud of the fact. - Bertrand Russell

A mother's arms are made of tenderness and children sleep soundly in them. - Victor Hugo

There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Plough deep while sluggards sleep, and you shall have corn to sell and to keep. - Benjamin Franklin

I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know? - Ernest Hemingway

Work hard. Rock hard. Eat hard. Sleep hard. Grow big. Wear glasses if you need 'em. - Webb Wilder

Each night, when I go to sleep, I die. And the next morning, when I wake up, I am reborn. - Mahatma Gandhi

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

I want to die like my father; peacefully in his sleep, not screaming and terrified, like his passengers. - Bob Monkhouse

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

If you can't sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there worrying. It's the worry that gets you, not the lack of sleep. - Dale Carnegie

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash