Festive Hospital Ward

Quack: A duck's Doctor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

False Doctrine: Giving people the wrong medicine - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

My music isn't just music - it's medicine. - Unknown

There would be no Christmas if there was no Easter. - Gordon B. Hinckley

Nursing would be a dream job if there were no doctors. - Gerhard Kocher

Surgeon: The person who was a cut-up at medical school - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin

Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

Save one life, you're a hero. Save 100 lives, you're a nurse. - Unknown

You couldn't tell if she was dressed for an opera or an operation. - Irvin S Cobb

Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

The good-news stories in medicine are early detection, early intervention. - Thomas R Insel

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

Grave: A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

I have had my television aerials removed. It is the moral equivalent of a prostate operation. - Malcolm Muggeridge

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau

Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler