German Emergency Road Share

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

Never invest emergency savings in the stock market. - Suze Orman

Substance is not enough, accident is also required. - Greek Proverb

The police are recruited from the criminal classes. - Gore Vidal

One trained dog equals 60 search-and-rescue workers. - Charles Stoehr

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

So many catastrophes in love are only accidents of egotism. - Hector Bianciotti

Giving never happens by accident. It's always intentional. - Amy Grant

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. - Ambrose Bierce

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

A real New Yorker likes the sound of a garbage truck in the morning. - R.L. Stine

If an Englishman gets run down by a truck he apologizes to the truck. - Jackie Mason

It is a lot harder now to be a police officer than what it used to be. - Steven Seagal

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

It is sometimes as dangerous to be run into by a microbe as by a trolley car. - J.J. Walsh

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art. - Eleanor Roosevelt

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

One of the tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency. - Arnold H. Glasow

Everything's challenging for me, singing-wise. I'm like an old truck with one gear left on it. - Michael McDonald

Faith is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see -
But Microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency. - Emily Dickinson

Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

She ran after the garbage truck yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?"
The driver said, "No, jump in!" - Red Skelton

Jawjuh: (Southern) A highly flammable state just north of Florida. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck." - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. - Judith Viorst

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

Success is no accident. It is hard work, perseverance, learning, studying, sacrifice and most of all, love of what you are doing or learning to do. - Pele

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright