German Emergency Road Share

Never insult anyone by accident. - Robert A. Heinlein

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. - Mark Twain

Never invest emergency savings in the stock market. - Suze Orman

Substance is not enough, accident is also required. - Greek Proverb

Stardom isn't a profession, it's an accident. - Lauren Bacall

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

Police Station: A place where sleeping is all right in a pinch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

Window: 1. A looking-out glass; 2. Place in the truck to hang your guns. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

I aimed at the public's heart and by accident I hit it in the stomach. - Upton Sinclair

Sleeping is my drug; my bed is my dealer; and my alarm clock is the police. - Unknown

It is sometimes as dangerous to be run into by a microbe as by a trolley car. - J.J. Walsh

There is nothing so strong or safe in an emergency of life as the simple truth. - Charles Dickens

Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion. - Mark Twain

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

Police: The only people who are paid to go around pinching people in the wrong places - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend. - Jack Nicholson

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The greatest pleasure I know is to do a good action by stealth, and to have it found out by accident. - Charles Lamb

Unlucky: Crossing the street to avoid walking under a ladder and getting hit by a truck full of horseshoes - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Truck Driver: 1. A man who has the opportunity to run into so many nice people; 2. A guy who goes the route. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

Some wish to live within the sound of church or chapel bell; I want to run a rescue shop within a yard of hell. - C.T. Studd

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

Jawjuh: (Southern) A highly flammable state just north of Florida. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck." - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I think our police are excellent, probably because I have not done anything that has occasioned being beaten up by these good men. - Clement Freud

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

The physician should look upon the patient as a besieged city and try to rescue him with every means that art and science place at his command. - Alexander of Tralles

Success is no accident. It is hard work, perseverance, learning, studying, sacrifice and most of all, love of what you are doing or learning to do. - Pele

Car Pool: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar - Daffynitions joe-ks.com