German Emergency Road Share

Safety doesn't happen by accident. - Unknown

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. - Mark Twain

Never invest emergency savings in the stock market. - Suze Orman

Stardom isn't a profession, it's an accident. - Lauren Bacall

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

A real New Yorker likes the sound of a garbage truck in the morning. - R.L. Stine

If an Englishman gets run down by a truck he apologizes to the truck. - Jackie Mason

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

There is nothing so strong or safe in an emergency of life as the simple truth. - Charles Dickens

Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion. - Mark Twain

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

When I got outta High School I was driving a truck. I was just a poor boy from Memphis. - Elvis Presley

To be born free is an accident; to live free a responsibility; to die free is an obligation. - Mrs. Hubbard Davis

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

Growing up, I'd just be at home, playing tennis, spending my allowance on an ice-cream truck. - Venus Williams

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

The ideal man bears the accidents of life with dignity and grace, making the best of circumstances. - Aristotle

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

Everything's challenging for me, singing-wise. I'm like an old truck with one gear left on it. - Michael McDonald

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting. - Ronald Reagan

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

It's a sad day when you find out that it's not accident or fortune but just yourself that kept things from you. - Lillian Hellman

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

She ran after the garbage truck yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?"
The driver said, "No, jump in!" - Red Skelton

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

The physician should look upon the patient as a besieged city and try to rescue him with every means that art and science place at his command. - Alexander of Tralles

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin

Success is no accident. It is hard work, perseverance, learning, studying, sacrifice and most of all, love of what you are doing or learning to do. - Pele

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright